Turd Burglar

A person who anally fists another, grabbing the feces inside the anal cavity. The fister then removes the contents of the anus and proceeds to Waluigi-run away from the crime scene (usually while also maniacally laughing). This is a very real and lucrative crime. On average a turd burglary occurs at least once every hour.

911 Operator: “911, what’s your emergency?”
Victim: “I need to report a burglary.”
911 Operator: “what was stolen.”
Victim: “I’d prefer not to say. Please send an officer quick! The turd burglar is getting away!”

by Definitely *NOT a Turd Burglar May 30, 2022

Turd burglar

When my dog sniffs the yard for rabbit poops...and eats them.

"Baxter!...quit being a turd burglar and leave them rabbit turds alone. You better give mama kisses first with that breath!" 🤭

by YOU DONT SAY June 27, 2025

Turd Burglar

One who takes shit or allows themself to be spoken down to by others.

“Poor Jeff, he always allows his boss to talk down to him, poor turd burglar”

by Sir Francis Argaf June 8, 2022

Turd Burglar

When your out walking your dog and your partner picks up your dogs freshly laid faeces.

"Oh look Buddy here comes Fiona the Turd Burglar to rob your shit"

by Aldo83 December 4, 2025

Turd burglar

A “Turd Burglar” is When Courtney R is being a crazy radioactive bad ass bitch w seven flavors of that bootylicious bubble gum.

Courtney is a total turd burglar

by Anner Bananaer March 8, 2025

turd burglar

a funny insult which could be used when someone is/was being a dick, usually in a non-serious manner (also see turgle for further details).

mike: *steals jenny's phone*
jenny: give it back you turd burglar

by eminemanemone December 13, 2018

Turd Burglar

A person who inserts other people's feces inside his/hers own rectum in an effort to obtain any nutrients that could remain.

Put that poop stick down you turd burglar, those are my Nutrients !

by NotTimothyDalton October 19, 2016