Arse Pickles

A game played by members of the male homosexual community whereupon one gentleman inserts a super-sized gherkin or dill pickle spear into his anal cavity for the purposes of sexual arousal. After suitable pleasure has been gained, he returns the now super-spiced item to the jar whereupon its place is lost among the other standard pickles in the pot.

Upon later hosting his chosen bedfellow for a “tasty burger” before a night out at the Pink Palomino Club, he bastes both his own and his guest’s hamburger and buns with mustard, relish and fried onions before suggesting he brings an additional condiment to the table in the form of a potential arse pickle. The guessing game of whether or not one’s burger is “with arse spice” or “without” heightens the enjoyment of the meal and inevitably means that any back-door action enjoyed later in the evening is engaged in with extra gusto.

Arse Pickles - from the original Latin: analus condimentus extremus

“Say Heinz, you are one hot tamale, how do you fancy a night on the club scene this Saturday? Come over to my place and we can feast on fine burgers beforehand and even play Arse Pickles if you think you can handle the flavoursome treats I’m packin’.”

From the uncut video feature special entitled: “Heinz & Helmut Hit Hamburg With Hamsters”

“What ho Tarquin, m’lady has been withholding minge privileges for ten days now, my balls are as large as Seville oranges. What say you pop over before tea time for some cucumber sandwiches and a zesty game of Arse Pickles. That should put lead in both our pencils don’t you reckon old fruit?”

From the novel: I say vicar, my wife’s a stinker, I think I’ll try some bum-fun

by Monty Cornwall January 20, 2008

Flag