Jesus

The name of which we name all our children from henceforth, or there will be no second coming.

Jesus 2: Redemption Day

by captain fruit punch December 3, 2018

Jesus

The single greatest person in the history of everything.

historian: Did you know jesus and Moses used guns to defeat the romans?

by The Great American October 7, 2008

Jesus

Jesus is my Girlfriend with the initials A.J-L

I got Jesus pregnant

by .....jesus..... February 27, 2019

Jesus

Tyler Griffin

Person 1:- Wow fam just seen Jesus
Person 2:- Nah dickhead that’s just Tyler Griffin

by GuessImAFortshitePlayer June 21, 2019

Jesus

Jesus is a very interesting human being, and is often referred to big chungus. He can look like an egg/humpty dumpty sometimes but is funny in some ways. They have had over 15 girl friends and have broken up with all of them for dumb reasons. Jesus's may be straight, but often acts gay. He will also date anyone, even if he doesn't know them. He is also EXTREMELY sensitive.

Jesus: Want to date?
Random Girl he doesn't even know: Sure!!
Jesus: A day later, I want to date someone else and they already said yes so, I dump you!!

by DoggoSacrilege December 12, 2019

Jesus

Jesus is a funny guy who is Cuban and has a big butt he can make you laugh at anytime with a face expression or a joke he can be a little bit nasty sometimes but it will crack you up.He is some what good at basketball and cares about people even tho it looks like he doesn’t care but he will ask if you’re ok.

Girl:Damn jesus has a big booty I wish I can eat that cake
Girl who has a crush on jesus: back tf off bitch that’s my cake you hoe

by Lookwhostalking May 16, 2018

Jesus

The kid with the big dick in school

(Girl 1)“Hey have you heard about Jesus”.
(Girl 2)”Yeah I heard he has the biggest dick”

by Jesusthebigdicknig August 4, 2019