A Baldwin

When you jerking off as a joke and it accidentally goes off.

I was going to prank my wife this morning by acting like I was wanking one out. Low and behold I ended up giving her a Baldwin mid thigh. Oops my bad! 😉

by Dingle5884 May 31, 2022

Alec Baldwinned

The act of being stuck in a situation of complete absent minded bad luck , something that could've been ovoided if you would've thought it through .

I told my boss I was totally Alec Baldwinned , when I was not the one who wrecked the company truck .

by Road1nner April 6, 2024

Dirty Baldwin

You grab your partner, most of the time a male and super glue their mouth to your right testicle and shove your dick in their left eye socket, and then initiate in a helicopter spin and inject semen into their eye making them eternally horny.

A forbidden art usually used in the realms of Brian Baldwins testicles.

Damn, that nigga did a forbidden Dirty Baldwin?

by PalmerProphet913598q70946274-9 October 20, 2023

Baldwin's gun paradox

Baldwin's gun paradox typically occurs when a specific and equal amount of responsibility is distributed to a number of individuals surpassing the sum of 1, usually as a form of repetitive fail-safe (ie verify that a gun is not loaded with real bullets before it is fired at someone or confirming that no one is standing in the industrial oven with a timed locked door before it is turned on), sometimes resulting in each successive person erroneously believing that the person prior to them made the proper verification which they are now themselves certifying without any actual verification from their part as required by their role. Any guilt resulting from a catastrophic failure of the entire verification chain will either be attributed to none of the individuals involved or exclusively to the lowest person on the totem pole.
See also: Shit trickles down rule

"Determining culpability in this case will be Baldwin's gun paradox all over again"
"I would like to plead Baldwin's gun paradox as my defense judge"

by Prisme November 5, 2021

baldwin

Pointing a weapon at someone believing it is not loaded.

Don't baldwin that gun at me, not even as a joke.

by wolfmanmos November 15, 2021

Take a Baldwin

In reference to Seattle Seahawks receiver Doug Baldwin during Superbowl 49 when he pretended to take a sh!t on the field in front of the entire world. "Taking a Baldwin" -- The act of humiliating yourself in a really public way during one of the most important moments of your life.

Did you see Jimmy take a Baldwin during the concert? He stood up there with a raging hardon the whole time. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die for him.

by DeenieWeenie February 6, 2015

baldwinize

1. To avoid taking personal responsibility by claiming that your errors were inevitable.

2. To flip the script on others, recasting yourself in the heroic role against the system which caused you to commit harm.

Baldwinizing does not require a legitimate change of opinion (like Morton Downey Jr. on smoking) or even a pretense of changing one's opinion (see Elridge Cleaver).

"We need to create a more robust welfare program to protect the children of single mothers like me from falling into the hood life" baldwinized Mr. Williamson upon his parole hearing, having earned his PhD. in Education and African Studies while serving a 25 year sentence for triple homicide. (He begins his tenure as a professor of Ethics at the Nebraska Coastal University on Tuesday.)

"We have to ban prop guns and switch to rubber guns" baldwinized the sweaty producer, "and I call on you pathetic sinners to fully support legislation to do so."

by barry b November 1, 2021