Jose Cuervo's Theory of Relativity

Two events, simultaneous for one observer, may not be simultaneous for another observer if the observers are completely shitfaced.

Guy 1: "Fuck, man; I swear that night went down so differently in my head."
Guy 2: "Yeah, you were pretty much just dancing around while throwing up all over those girls and talking about how awesome you felt."
Guy 1: "Jose Cuervo's Theory of Relativity is a bitch."

Also see: Beer Goggles

by -Shitfaced- May 12, 2010

thor hammer

another name for a large penis

omg girl !! I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time, and he has a fucking thor hammer!!!

by missthaangg June 30, 2019

The Theory of Relative Hottness

The theory that states that one judges a guy/girl's hottness by comparing him/her to those around them. This explains why one would think someone is hotter when seen at, say a movie theater, than at school. There are fewer to compare them to.

Guy 1: Dude, that girl that goes to your school is really hot.
Guy 2: Naw, that's the theory of relative hottness. At school she's not that hot.

by Free6000 December 17, 2008

Lockhart's Theory

The theory that you can determine one's well being by asking a completely irrelevant question.

Have you heard of Lockhart's Theory?

by InquisitiveNinja April 18, 2019

Ferragamo's Theory of Love

If She shows more then 5 unfixable Red Flags then you must put up your white flag and get the fuck out of there. Also do not try to save anyone whom isnt willing to save themselves, its common sense. but dont date sociopaths who will use you and abuse you because you'll end up with severe PTSD, and cause your self mental and financial burden. also never take back a bitch who left u for a nigga in a psychiatric facility, in fact if they in a psychiatric facility the bitch is a red flag in itself. if she fucks 5 niggas after u and u get back w her you is a chump.

Person 1:Yo i got with this chick
Person 2: oh what is she like?
Person 1: well shes homeless, went on a date w her and the bitch ended up in a psych unit, got extreme daddy issues, and is a diagnosed Sociopath
Person 2: and how long you been w her?
Person 1: 6 months why?
Person 2: at least she hasn't left u for anyone
Person 1: Yeah she did, left me for this guy in the Pj's, a total nutjob
Person 2: and you took her ass back?
Person 1: I wanted to give her a second Chance
Person 2: You're a fuckin idiot, you know that?
Person 1:How???
Person 2: Just get rid of her, you gotta follow Ferragamo's Theory of love.

by Spacecadet119 November 7, 2021

Murphy's Far Falling Unreachable Theory

The theory that when we accidentally drop an object (where ever we happen to be at the moment) it no doubt falls or rolls to the farthest, unreachable place. It is a mysterious theory that never fails to happen.

I was putting on my make up and my lipstick fell on the floor. Murphy's Far Falling Unreachable Theory kicked in because it was no where to be found. I had to hunt and excavate the room in order to finally find it behind the dresser under the rug.

by annieoakley August 7, 2010

Hoop Earring Theory

The idea that the size of one's hoop earrings is directly correlated with one's promiscuity

Mike: Should I ask Sarah out?

Josh: I dunno man, she's got some big hoops.

Mike: What do you mean?

Josh: You've never heard of Hoop Earring Theory? Also known as "the bigger the hoop the bigger da ho."

by Wyla Merryweather August 26, 2013