Matthew

The hottest, sexiest man alive. He is also the king of long dicks.

"I wish I was like Matthew!"

by BrownieKing June 7, 2021

Matthew

A really hot man with a massive cock who also just so happens to look like a cross between the ice age baby and the fish from megamind

Oh my god, you look like a Matthew today

by Mysterious man of meth February 21, 2022

Matthew

Matthews are always the sweetest guys on earth, and even though they're sometimes a little too silly, they have a very deep, emotional side that is very hard to find. Matthews make the best friends, and give their all to everything they care about.

Matthew is the sweetest guy ever!!

by Copperhighlights December 19, 2016

Matthew

1.A not smart guy
2.A guy that you're not sure if its a guy
3.An unattractive guy
4.A guy with no game
5.A 1-finger girth guy
6. A guy with no life guy
7. An overweight guy
8. A guy wishes to wear a dress

9.A guy who kills babies
10. A guy who would disagree with all of these

Girl 1: Who's the weird new kid?
Girl 2: Honey, he's a Matthew
Girl 1: That explains it

by Marquisisabetternamethanmatt January 24, 2015

matthew

Someone who looks like the piece of poop that is stuck to the brim of the toilet. They usually make you want to cry. If you meet a Matthew run.

Person 1: Did you see the new kid? I think
his names Matthew.
Person 2: I have to change schools.

by Carla Michealson May 11, 2016

Matthew

person with large penis

omg look at the size of it he must be a Matthew

by Connor is stupid January 18, 2017

Matthew

A common garden variety of Grasshopper that only eats the leaves of a mexican cannabis plant. Often found in a secret digital reality fighting evil ogres with weapons which can only be described as n00b-erific.

Served with a side of pizza, this delicacy is best served "baked" and will fornicate on demand. Ofcourse only to be eaten by the mating female.

Spontaneous regeneration of the genitals is also an evolutionary strongpoint as chronic masterbation has always been a problem with the species.

Guy 1

"I was out in the yard and saw a Grasshopper that looked baked and was jerking onto a piece of pizza!!"

Guy 2

"Yeah thats Matthew.... What a stoner!"

by David Attenborough (the 42nd) March 8, 2010