Lumber Turds

Very painful 15 minutes worth of pooping almost your insides out because of all the lumber you carry all day. It's usually a lot of sounds of pain followed by a sort of diarrhea pressure washer spray of poop.

Oh my God Bob has lumber turds, he's pooping his brains out. I can hear him screaming and the smell is very alien like.

by PandasPaw March 17, 2021

plug turd

The often disregarded fecal matter that morphs from a once gelatinous substance to a hard, concrete like formation that stops previously liquidized fecal excrement in it's tracks, whereas no further deposition of excremental matter may occur henceforth. (See "poop plug.")

Dangit Johnny! If you don't hurry up I'll surely soil myself! My plug turd is nearing it's expulsion!

by Illicitrampage August 02, 2019

Turd Pause

When you go to the bathroom to #1 and the other stall is occupied but dead silent upon your arrival, pausing their #2 flow so you do not hear the demonic things they are capable of.

Girl 1: I just went to the bathroom and all of a sudden Alexandra was silent while I went #1. It was weird that she just sat there and listened to me pee. I knew it was her because of her shoes.
Girl 2: Yo, you totally caused a turd pause.

by officeworklife July 09, 2015

turd fleece

When you have to warm your self up by coating yourself in doo doo.

What are you doing in there? "Shut up man, I making my turd fleece!"

by Bigcarl510 August 09, 2015

turd chopper

A special knife dedicated to slice up the turd that's too big to flush.

Bloody hell, that was a big one. Just had to get the turd chopper out.

by manmarcoman May 17, 2016

Turd savant

A turd savant is the Rainman of poop. This unique genius can tell you the state of your health with a quick look at your poop.

Turd savant: See how that log veers to the left? Not good. Drink chamomile tea at bedtime for a week to get more rest. Then snap a pic of your morning poop, text it to me and I will give you an update.

by LetsPlayKeepAway December 18, 2019

golden turd

A person who is not a good person, (Most of time BF or GF). They are malignant, will destroy you and your life. In the end being you are the insane person who needs help.

Glen: Yo remember her from high school ? She’s hot now....

Gabe- dude don’t mess with her, she’s a “golden turd”.

by Linearity August 24, 2020