turd spanker

When two or more people are involved in anal sex and the males penis pushes up on a turd, he is considered a Turd Spanker.

Yo did you hear about Scot!? Apparently he was giving it to his boyfriend in the butt and got some poop on his Johnson. Bro, what a Turd Spanker!!

by HairyStikNeverShave June 2, 2017

golden turd

A person who is not a good person, (Most of time BF or GF). They are malignant, will destroy you and your life. In the end being you are the insane person who needs help.

Glen: Yo remember her from high school ? She’s hot now....

Gabe- dude don’t mess with her, she’s a “golden turd”.

by Linearity August 23, 2020

turd-blogging

The act of texting your friends to tell them about the crap you are currently taking.

Turd-blogging is an excellent way to pass the time during a particularly difficult crap.

by Jimmy Simpson January 12, 2008

Turd burglar

Amsterdam only definition:
a polish dude that sleeps in your cupboard while your not watching.

"dude, I found this massive turd burglar in the cupboard under the stairs"
"bro did u call the police?"
"nah, he ran before I could get my axe"

by burgturdlar January 30, 2019

Turd Pause

When you go to the bathroom to #1 and the other stall is occupied but dead silent upon your arrival, pausing their #2 flow so you do not hear the demonic things they are capable of.

Girl 1: I just went to the bathroom and all of a sudden Alexandra was silent while I went #1. It was weird that she just sat there and listened to me pee. I knew it was her because of her shoes.
Girl 2: Yo, you totally caused a turd pause.

by officeworklife July 26, 2015

A turds jacket

The name of a particularly stinky fart.

“Wow, that was a turds jacket”

by Southernhospitality August 17, 2021

Cow Turd

These two words, believe it or not, are used to describe a person who you know you love and care for but you just can't admit it. They are used to describe a person who can get so incredibly aggravating but at the end of the day, something that person said or did was the highlight of your day. This person is normally very whitey and laughs at the little things that some may say don't really matter, but you and me both know every single word and action matters. (Side Note* they can get off track sometimes too.) This person is such a joy to be around and you can always count on to brighten up your day... It might be making your kidneys hurt from laughing uncontrollably nonstop but heyy I mean it works. They can be mistaken for flirtatious but really its just that they want to lighten your load just a couple of pounds. They are more often than not very beautiful or handsome, although they are very hard to be in a relationship with because they are so private. If you have one of these people don't ever let them go because more often than not they were placed in your life for a reason and they are meant to help you get through some DEEP STUFF. They are defiantly somebody you want in your life and if you have someone like this you are truly a lucky person.

Guy/Girl #1 Waitt... You know a Cow Turd??
Guy/Girl #2 Yeah, Why?
Guy/Girl #1 You are a really lucky person, you know that right?
Guy/Girl #2 Yeah I know... She/He really is amazing!

by red kiwi July 15, 2016