Bed Goblin

Somebody who lives in an darkened bedroom with a laptop screen as their only source of light, becoming gradually more pasty and antisocial. They spend all their time watching YouTube and playing games and only leave their lair to eat, drink, shit or piss. If you try to take their laptop away, they go all Gollum on your ass.

I hardly see Oscar anymore - has turned into a total bed goblin.

by Dr. Volospian January 20, 2023

Mulch bed virgin

One who has not had intercourse in mulch beds

Ryan is such a loser, he is a senior and still a mulch bed virgin.

by Craig applebottom September 29, 2018

Bed Bunny

A "Bed Bunny" refers to a woman who stays in bed all day ready for her man to come home and have "fun" in the bedroom, typically in return for small or large treats, rewards and aftercare. Similar to a "Pillow Princess"

"Oh yeah she's my little Bed Bunny... and I spoil her rotten...."

by Bed Bunny June 25, 2025

Danger bed

When you go out without anywhere to stay, so have to pull in order to find somewhere to stay the night.

AKA hotel back-yourself.

1: where are you staying?
2: I'm playing danger bed mate, wait and see

by notarealpseudonym February 10, 2019

Commie Bed

A bed that is shared by all people who are planning on fucking someone that night, similar to Communist Russia, where everyone gets the same thing.

Melanie got fucked in the commie bed last night by Michael.

by scottden95 September 9, 2022

Bed Sausage

A man’s penis

“I see Anna is pregnant, she must have been playing with Tim’s Bed Sausage!”

by Dick-ctionary November 19, 2021

Tables on bed

Telling this to someone is basically saying they are stupid.

Terry: Hey, Tables on bed!
Harry: How rude
Terry: *trips*
Harry: Haha, How does it feel to be Tables on bed?

by Xingle June 24, 2022