Breakfast Machine

Breakfast Machine (noun, slang)

Definition:
A wildly over-complicated, theatrical explanation meant to distract from a simple lie, mistake, or inconvenient truth. Often full of unnecessary details, emotional sidetracks, and implausible logic, it’s used when someone could’ve just said, “I messed up,” but instead built a three-act play with puppets and smoke machines.
1.
“Spare me the breakfast machine and just tell me you were with your ex.”

2.
“That whole story was a damn breakfast machine. I stopped believing it at step four when the dog allegedly called 911.”

3.
“She couldn’t just say she was late—she gave me a breakfast machine involving a flat tire, a sick aunt, and Mercury in retrograde.”
by Angee Maree May 29, 2025
Get the Breakfast Machine mug.

Machine that does nothing

Machine with no use, this machine does nothing, and is often used at midnight when the cool breeze form the perfect conditions for a moth party
This machine, does it do anything?

No, it is the machine that does nothing, it does nothing
by John Deere 9860 STS combine October 28, 2021
Get the Machine that does nothing mug.

farter machine

a person that releases long, stinky farts all day like a machine
ex: Vissy expressed his farter machine ass on a date with Rea.
by visea October 21, 2020
Get the farter machine mug.
A washing machine that uses very little water as possible to wash your clothes. They take longer to wash than a traditional washer, have cheaply made electronic control boards, often lasts less than 10 years, and still can't clean as well as older washers. On the top load machines, the tub brake and suspension systems found on many older machines is replaced with self balancing sensors, which if they fail for some reason to correct an out of balance situation, will cause the machine to shake itself apart violently (literately exploding). They often have poor ventilation, allowing odor causing bacteria to grow inside when not in use, even when the door or lid is left open.
High efficiency washing machines are a complete joke compared to older washers!
by kagome122885 September 19, 2020
Get the High Efficiency Washing Machine mug.

washing machine monsters

People who munch on your laundry and it can't be found anywhere.
"Oh! Look! There's the washing machine monsters eating my laundry again! Better go catch them before we lost it all!"
by Kittykatmeow4life October 20, 2015
Get the washing machine monsters mug.

Cleaning the Washing Machine

When you lick off the cum dripping down a penis after a blowjob.
Mike: Dude my was GF Cleaning the Washing Machine last night!
Tim: Nice, it must have been awesome.
by NotABanana July 20, 2015
Get the Cleaning the Washing Machine mug.