pulled a jesus

Surprising someone because they thought you were dead, or, more commonly, being gone for a long time and suddenly show up unannounced.

Guy 1: "Hey, you're back!"
Guy 2: "Yeah, I pulled a Jesus."

by Wartooth June 24, 2008

Lying for Jesus

See also: Conservapedia

Lying is a sin, but Lying for Jesus is good, because it brings poor, hellbound souls to him. Godspeed!

by R0-84N November 12, 2018

Dirty Jesus

Much like the Dirty Sanchez, but in the Missionary Position.

much like the dirty sanchez, but yet not... more like the Dirty Jesus

by PabloHyde October 4, 2011

Super Jesus

There is only one Super Jesus. One man. The greatest man alive. He is the father of God. Feed him Berries and Cream Starbursts while doing the Little Lad dance and he will be very pleased. He can read your mind and see your future. He loves dinosaurs. Especially in the form of a shaped rubber band. SJ loves to sing R&B songs in his car using his angelic voice.He is more attractive then anyone. Even Chace Crawford. He has no kneecaps. He is crazy buff. But never has to work out. And he has a sunkissed bronze glow year-round. His impressions are supreme. He loves watching YouTube videos. Such as Kittens Inspired By Kittens and Top 60 Ghetto Black Names. He is very funny. Super Jesus also loves to eat at Chick-Fil-A. Just be sure he gets a Chicken Sandwich and Waffle Fries. For Free. He has a tendency to refer to people as "goobs" and "goobers". He will respond to SJ, Super J, Super Jesus, or Sir.

Daaayuuum. Look at Super Jesus. That man makes me laugh so hard that I fall off my dinosaur! And look at how masculine and handsome he is!

by Lil Guuurl August 31, 2010

Jesus Shit

A shit that you flush, but it comes back into the bowl. The toilet is not clogged as a result of the Jesus shit. It is metaphorical to the fact that Jesus Christ was killed, but came back afterward.

Emily: Ahh, what a great shit I have just taken,
*Flush*
Emily: What? It came back? This must be a Jesus Shit.

OR

Phil: I heard Emily flush, but when I went in to piss, there was a shit in the toilet. It wasn't clogged though.
George: A true Jesus Shit for ya.

by Albertkjfdahi August 25, 2010

De Jesus

Born and raised in The Bronx, New York.
Hypeman for the band Gym Class Heroes.
Birthday - July 14th

check out de jesus

www.myspace.com/dejesusgch

by Urban777 December 14, 2008

black jesus

Black Jesus: Amare Stoudemire's alter-ego. At times, he displays such divine talent that he can only be referred to as "The Black Jesus".

Rob: "Holy crap, Amare must have flown like 10 feet in the air for that dunk."
Bob: "Black Jesus strikes again!"

by What it is June 3, 2007