Jesus Ortiz

A very charming yet serious fellow, has a few laughs now and then, has a very big appetite could swallow a whole town if it was possible yet very gentle wouldn't kill a fly. if this type of guy is not talking then there is a slight hum coming from him that sounds like Mexican or metal music. Anybody can get along with this person of they know how to take jokes and have a huge appetite.

Billy: look at that guy he is mostly serious among everyone except his gf now look at him laugh.

John: that must be a jesus ortiz!

by senora pansona November 8, 2011

Bee jesus

The bee type of the Jesus that was seen in bee movie. He was called out in the interview with Barry Bee Benson and Bee Larry King talking about how bees made a difference. Bee Larry King followed up this statement with talking about "Stick ball or Candy Stores". Barry replays with "how old are you"

man i can not beleive the bee movie added "BEE JESUS" in the Bee Larry King interview.

by Sirjoey28 June 3, 2020

pulled a jesus

Surprising someone because they thought you were dead, or, more commonly, being gone for a long time and suddenly show up unannounced.

Guy 1: "Hey, you're back!"
Guy 2: "Yeah, I pulled a Jesus."

by Wartooth June 24, 2008

Lying for Jesus

See also: Conservapedia

Lying is a sin, but Lying for Jesus is good, because it brings poor, hellbound souls to him. Godspeed!

by R0-84N November 12, 2018

Jesus portal

Smoking weed mixed with DMT out of a bong.

Smoke this Jesus Portal to take a trip to a different dimension

by Midpaqqqqq May 31, 2020

Man-Jesus

A man who is superior to yourself in several ways (either perceived or otherwise), who is currently dating a woman you are interested in. When he is better looking/smarter/wealthier/more educated/more adventurous than you are, he represents an idealized version of manhood or a picture of maleness that other men are expected to reach but realistically have little chance of doing. Hence, he is an example of Man-Jesus.

Yeah, I'd ask her out...but you've never met her boyfriend. He's Man-Jesus, I don't measure up.

by NachtKreiger August 3, 2010

pull a jesus

1. When someone accomplishes something in a way that seems miraculous.
2. When someone tries to resolve a disagreement using jesus or the bible to back him/her up.

1. They thought he died in that weird cloning experiment but he pulled a jesus.
2. He was really pissed, but then she tried to pull a jesus on him and made it even worse.

by SabMaster February 4, 2010