Chocolate Jesus

A formed chocolate bar in the shape of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ

I gave that self rightious preachy fat bitch a chocolate Jesus for Christmas. She loved it and then ate Christ's head.

by [e-mail] December 25, 2004

Jesus Christ

An exclamation gemerally used to express anguish or dismay.

Jim: Some mo fo just keyed your ride dude !
Bob: JESUS CHRIST ! !

or

In poker your straight loses to a full house and you exclaim JESUS CHRIST ! !

by MDog221 July 15, 2006

Man-Jesus

A man who is superior to yourself in several ways (either perceived or otherwise), who is currently dating a woman you are interested in. When he is better looking/smarter/wealthier/more educated/more adventurous than you are, he represents an idealized version of manhood or a picture of maleness that other men are expected to reach but realistically have little chance of doing. Hence, he is an example of Man-Jesus.

Yeah, I'd ask her out...but you've never met her boyfriend. He's Man-Jesus, I don't measure up.

by NachtKreiger August 03, 2010

Dirty Jesus

Much like the Dirty Sanchez, but in the Missionary Position.

much like the dirty sanchez, but yet not... more like the Dirty Jesus

by PabloHyde October 04, 2011

Talking Jesus

The act of talking or expressing nonsensical gibberish that make no sense whatsoever. A phrase used commonly in Chinese.

Dude, are those Christians talking Jesus again?

by AsianVision August 20, 2011

Cabbage jesus

A overweight cunt who is full of life and loves to joke around with anyone. He loves to make friends and will even share his lunch with you. He will go out of his way for anyone!

Bro 1: did u just see that guy? he just gave the homeless family 100 dollars!
Bro 2: yeah! he always does that his name is cabbage jesus..
Bro 1: what a mad cunt we should meet him sometime..

Bro 2: hell yeah!

by Cabbage jesus May 12, 2019

evil jesus

Evil Jesus is a nickname for the infamous E+J Brandy, everyone's favorite bum liquor of choice! Dirt cheap and 80 proof, this is what the dead beats living on the streets drink, and is also favored amongst generally income-limited folks such as most of those in NJ and rappers trying to make it this day in age.

"Swallow a bottle of that ol' Evil Jesus"
- TMFSE

"Told me to bring a sack o' yak and a flask of Easy (Evil) Jesus, cuz he needed somebody to talk to the trees wit'"
-GDP

by Brixton Malinger December 11, 2013