Paddle Disease

An addiction that hits members of highly active kayak and canoe clubs. Strong social ties combine with adrenaline and endorphins, released of the physical activity, to create an addiction-like state. The paddler will lose interest in other activities such as work, house-cleaning and sometimes even non-paddling friends and family members. Seriously diseased paddlers will often make excuses for even more aggressively dysfunctional members of their circle, especially leaders, rather than risk being cast out or walking away, and losing paddle buddies.

1. Dennis missed the opportunity to be at his mother's bedside when she passed away because of Paddle Disease; the Plateau got an inch and a half of rain and while his mom might be up for two more days, the creeks wouldn't.

2. If it weren't for Paddle Disease, she would have walked away from John long before he slept with those 3 other women on last weekend's canoe camping trip.

by NashDiggity February 8, 2012

Whiterod's Disease

Not many dare usher these words, for the devastation they create is beyond explanatory circumstances. When suffering from Whiterods disease all the surrounding banter that exists within the human body is mercilessly killed and replaced with a dark force known as 'anti-bants'. This 'anti-bants' manifests itself in communication; where the host thinks they are being banterous but in fact they are not and everyone hates them. It also has a tendency to spread in the locally populated area.

I spoke to a girl today, she found me boring and the social interraction awkward. I must be coming down with Whiterod's Disease.

by Kingofthebants April 2, 2012

Kellers Disease

It is a contagious disease that spreads to everyone that is near somebody named Kelly.

Your sharp grammar and spelling degrades quickly, and you will find yourself speaking like her. Rare, but it happens.
One such prominent word is 'acoal' in Kellers language. The English translation of 'acoal' is 'alcohol'.

You may also feel a sudden urge to re-register posing as your fake friend for no reason. Also, you might have a sudden urge to speak in ALL CAPS.

"eh brozz, what youz been DOING!?!?!?! DRINKING SOME ACOAL?" - Somebody with Kellers Disease

by AA_MiMiK December 7, 2011

Suzy Orman's Disease

The obsession with buying jackets. It's pretty serious and un-turnt.

-Dude, I just bought this jacket! It was on sale!
-Did you "need" a jacket?
-No, but it was on sale. I saved like $30!
-But you didn't really need the jacket?
-No, what's your point?
-If you didn't really need the jacket, then you didn't really save $30.
-What are you saying? I must have like Suzy Orman's Disease or something?
-Yes, I don't have it, you do. Be jelly.

by IFillAVoid December 31, 2011

chalkston disease

An ailment that causes white, dry patches of skin, caused by malnutrition and genetic modifications at an early stage of development.

Hey Bob, I saw somebody else with chalkston disease in the gym today, his skin was so patchy and dry, i offered him lotion

by mystical b19dpg March 9, 2011

Minesheimer's Disease

When one's brain is so crowded with academic information that it interferes with everyday mental functions, especially speaking.

Jen: Hey Maddie!
Maddie: What?
Jen: ...
Maddie: What?!
Jen: Sorry, I forgot what I was going to say. I have Minesheimer's Disease

by DubyaDubyaDos March 17, 2011

Singer's Disease

The pseudo-diagnosis of choice among certain physicians of Riddle Memorial Hospital's Emergency Room. This condition, only seen in adolescent, musically-inclined females, is characterized by chest pain, heart palpitations and shortness of breath. However, these symptoms are only present in singers, as only they are self-aware enough to recognize them.

So I just got back from the hospital... They say it's Singer's Disease.

by DrToolBag November 21, 2011