Happy Finger

The bird. The manual fuck you. The middle finger of derision, hate and discontent. Normally used in the same manner as "flipping the bird," in this instance styled "hoisting the happy finger."

Malcolm hoisted the happy finger at the cops, who promptly beat him senseless with their batons. Gennifer flipped a happy finger at her mother, who grounded her until her 21st birthday.

by Zazbek January 1, 2013

mallet fingers

Mallet fingers, i.e. when a boy is really bad at fingering a girl, so bad it is painful. Possibly big fingers, or just bad practice.

Jane: Did you have fun with Raymond last night.
Cat: Yeah i heard you went back with him!?
Lucy: Yeah wish i hadnt though, he had real mallet fingers!
Jane: ooh ouch!

by CrackwhoMoFo June 13, 2009

Smurf Finger

To give penetrative pleasure to oneself or another, with a finger that has been kept in ice.

"Want me to use my Smurf Finger?"

"I could really go a good ol' Smurf Fingering"

by Art Omega May 19, 2010

Witches Finger

When an older woman (cougar and above) inserts her old, knobby, crooked finger into your butthole. During a BJ is optional

Man this cougar was giving me a blowjob and gave me the witches finger. Not sure how I feel about it.

by GoongaGaLunga July 3, 2018

stoinky fingers

to stimulate a girls clitorus with your fingers

"so did you get any stoinky fingers last night?"
"yeah i gave her the stoinks for a good 15 minutes before she blew me."

by Greg E. Louganis April 9, 2009

Text Fingers

The state one's fingers are in when texting extremely fast.

Oh snap, that chick has got fast text fingers!

by flakycake May 6, 2010

Chocolate finger

When your wiping your ass and your finger accidentally tears through the toilet paper unnoticed. Can be especially problematic if you scratch your nose later on.

No thanks, I don't need a hug, looks like you got a chocolate finger

by Tnp12rocks March 28, 2017