Denver Dignity Wiper

When your boyfriend or girlfriend locks you in a diaper for 3 days straight and proceeds to squish your full diaper when you get home from work

My boyfriend made me so embarrassed when he gave me a Denver Dignity Wiper.

by Markus Willbot March 9, 2026

Chicago Windshield Wiper

The Chicago Windshield Wiper is a multi step process that involves cumming on a womans stomach and proceeding to wipe it over her body, as if wiping dirt off of a windshield. You then let the cum dry then scrape it off and serve it on ice cream, preferably vanilla.

I’m so hot, do you have any ice cream in your freezer? Yeah my wife and I did the Chicago Windshield Wiper just last night so we have some fresh ice cream.

by Miguel Myers March 11, 2026

Friction-less Wipe

When you wipe your ass, and the paper glides friction-less, so you know you're fucked.

John: Bro, you used all the toilet paper!
Doe: Yeah man, it was a friction-less wipe.

by Findrunemfwatertower March 31, 2025

Redneck Wet Wipe

When you're on the toilet taking a mean shit and you realize you have to blow your nose, so you grab some toilet paper to do so, then wipe your asshole with the now-wet and snotty toilet paper, thereby cleaning your asshole more effectively than just regular shit tickets. The best part is, unlike regular wet wipes, you can flush it without fucking up your septic tank or local sewage system.

Wife: "Honey, do we have any wet wipes? I've got the never-ending wipe happening here."
Husband: "Just blow you nose into some toilet paper!"
W: "Huh?"
H: "You know, like a Redneck Wet Wipe!"
W: "Gross, babe."
H: "Is it really any more gross than what just came out of your asshole?"
W: "Fair point." *honk*

by Crap-tain April 20, 2025

Viet Kong Wipe

After a poop no matter how much wiping you do you can’t clear everything out. You know there’s more in the tunnel but you’re never able to reach it all.

I have some major itching going on this morning after a battle with a nasty Viet Kong Wipe.

by HouseFace May 23, 2025

San Francisco wet wipe

When you take a messy shit but don’t have any wet wipes. So you jerk off into the toilet paper and wipe your ass

That shit was so messy I had to use a San Francisco wet wipe

by Damon184 June 11, 2025

The Bilateral Backside WipeOsaurusRex

When the Big Ass Bowel Movement becomes so wet, watery, and wild, that you can no longer decipher exactly where shit has landed. So you are forced to roll out a big piece of toilet paper and fold it into one extra long piece of paper. Then (crucially) grabbing it with BOTH hands and simultaneously wiping both Ass cheeks at the same time, to ensure all remnants of watery shit are effectively removed from the ass cheeks.

"Dude! I just had to pull out The Bilateral Backside WipeOsaurusRex in there! Was a shittastrophy!"

"Last night I ate an entire pint of whiskey flavored ice cream... been doing The Bilateral Backside WipeOsaurusRex all morning!!!"

by Thetoledotootsieroll July 10, 2025