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99% on the test

you are screwed if you have strict parents
thats not even a passing grade
person 1: "what score did u get on the recent tests?"
person 2: " I got a 99% on the test"
person 1: "oh rip my bro"
by yo no hablo español April 28, 2023
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testing my Jesus

When someone pisses you off due to their rude, or otherwise bad behavior, and you begin to lose faith in humanity, that person is testing my Jesus
Can you believe Monica? I babysat her cat, picked her up from the airport, and took her to the mall when her car was dead - but when I need a favor, and I wouldn't really call it a favor if she's my bestie, she disappears like a cockroach when the lights come on. Friends like that be testing my Jesus.
by Siouxsie Supertramp November 20, 2023
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Reticle closing speed test

In a bit, I need to finish a reticle closing speed test cause I am gay.
by Madcircle70 November 21, 2023
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Asians taking a lie detector test

POV:
ur asian taking a lie detector test
Son: "Hey dad, I took a lie detector test today."
Dad: "Oh ok, what score you get?"
Son: "Uh...it's a lie detector test, dad. There's no score, you either pass or fail."
Dad: "Okay, so did you pass or no?"
Son: "Well, you didn't want me to tell them how you raped my sister, right?"
Dad: "Shhh! Quiet! Someone could here you!"
Son: "Yeah, that's what I thought. Well, I lied about that, so you wouldn't get in trouble."
Dad: "Ok, good boy."
Son: "But the thing is... they detected that I had lied."
Dad: "WHAT??? FBI GUNNA SHOW UP AT DA FRONT DOR ANY MINUT NOW! STOOBID!"

Son: "No dad, they won't. I killed them all before they could call the cops."
Dad: *stares at son for a while* "Okay, good boy. You want some ice cream?"
Son: "Uh....Sure, but that's not all."
Dad: "Oh my god. What now, son? Hah?"
Son: "In order to lie.... I had to fail the test."
Dude 1: Did you hear about those asians taking a lie detector test?
Dude 2: Yeah, I haven't seen 'em since, do you know where they are?
Dude 1: No...
by PORGSSSS November 28, 2023
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Son: "In order to lie.... I had to fail the test."
Dad: *pulls off shoe and throws it at son*
Son: "Ow! Dad, don't you want this? This way no one will kn-"

Dad: *pulls out glock 19 and starts firing at son*
Son: *barely dodges bullets* "Dad, stop!"
Dad: "You fail test! You stoobid! You not my son!" *pulls out AK-102*
Son: *gets hit in leg* "Ow! Dad, you have to stop!"
Dad: *ignores son* *dismembers son with five shells from a Challenger 2*
Son: *groans in agony*
Dad: *tases what's left of son's body *
Son: *attempts to scream in agony, but instead blood comes out of his mouth*
Dad: "You not my son! Son no fail test!" *lifts off in a A-10 Warthog armed with the Gauzer machine gun*
Son: "Please dad.....please..."
Dad: *crashes plane into son, ejecting himself 30 inches from the ground*
Son: .
Dad: *raids a U.S. Army bunker and steals 10 nukes*
Dad: *nukes house with son in it, then nukes the whole country just for good measure*
Dad: *evades paparazzi and kills families to live in their houses for 4 decades*
Dad: *becomes president, nukes the world then uses mods to terraform Mars*
Dad: *rapes your mom 10 times to repopulate the human race*
Dad: *eventually dies at age 142, wearing a suit with a red rose in his lapel and sunglasses*
No wonder we never saw that kid again.... Holy shit!

And that's why you've never heard of: Asians taking a lie detector test Part 2
by PORGSSSS November 28, 2023
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testing my Jesus

When someone gets on your nerves, and your anger disproportionate to the situation at times, is testing your Jesus.
If my boss doesn't understand the company policy that he wrote, well, he's just really testing my Jesus.
by Siouxise Eileen November 30, 2023
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test

test 2x
i tested you
by braziltest123 December 4, 2023
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