Turd Burglar

A person who inserts other people's feces inside his/hers own rectum in an effort to obtain any nutrients that could remain.

Put that poop stick down you turd burglar, those are my Nutrients !

by NotTimothyDalton October 19, 2016

Turd burglar

Portable restroom technician.

Hey Roy! The toilet is full in the port a pot, think you can wave down the turd burglars when they drive by to empty it for us?

by Motosaki410 June 5, 2019

Turd burglar

When my dog sniffs the yard for rabbit poops...and eats them.

"Baxter!...quit being a turd burglar and leave them rabbit turds alone. You better give mama kisses first with that breath!" 🤭

by YOU DONT SAY June 27, 2025

Turd Burglar

One who takes shit or allows themself to be spoken down to by others.

“Poor Jeff, he always allows his boss to talk down to him, poor turd burglar”

by Sir Francis Argaf June 8, 2022

Turd burglar

Its an old superstition about A sneaky lil midget bandit theif in the night that climbs in your bathroom window and burgles the turd right out the bowl that more than likely are there because you got shit faced and forgot to flush or your dirty lazy kids left the bowl present for the turd bandit. Because the story goes.... Feed the turd burglar once a week and you will never get a stomach. Keep that gut flora happy ... Feed the turd burglars.

"Tiny tim dont flush that shit you know you got to leave that for the turd burglar tonight or you will end up with a belly ache

by Ghostbuster2000 February 8, 2021

Turd burglar

An individual who has the annoying habit of making a scene outside the stall while you’re trying pop a deuce in order to get you to hurry up. Turd Burglars show up typical when you’re in public bathroom in a busy location and someone very impatient shows up and decides to interrupt your shitting session.

>You: answering nature’s call in a public bathroom like a normal person

> Turd burglar: “ Hurry up mister I need to go, I NEED TO GO!!!” X 50 on loop until you finish pushing your slimy turd

by Thicke Henry Richard September 8, 2020

Turd Burglar

Someone who steals your shit to make themselves look better to others.

Jim: "Jesus Dan. Did John just take your iPhone to show to his girlfriend?"

Dan: "Yea. He's a turd burglar."

by A Time Walker September 3, 2013