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Squidward

Someone who is grumpy all the time, a real stick in the mud. Someone who is tired of life and hates people, more notably, people who work at retail stores that have cash registers.

They usually scan your items as fast as they can with a crude face and don’t bother to greet you. If you see a guy who acts rude and handles your groceries wrong, he’s most likely a Squidward

A Squidward can also mean someone who’s very rude, very stale and doesn’t give a fuck
Joe: hey that one guy just bumped into me and didnt say sorry. Instead he looked at me with this dark glare. He’s such a Squidward....

Rebecca: hey you wanna go to the mall later? I’m bringing 3 of my friends who are guys.

Saviento: with 3 of your friends? Nah I’d rather sit at home watching Elmo as I cut my penis off. You guys have fun in that little hell hole.

Rebecca: OMG you’re such a Squidward!!

Cashier: *throws items into bags* “59.97$...”
Me: hey everything okay man?

Cashier: “yeah, I’m just feeling kinda squidward today”
by Hitler the great June 10, 2020
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the squidward twist

When you twist a guy's nuts until his voice becomes as nasally as Squidward's.
Did you hear last night Chuck got The Squidward Twist and you could hear him in the house over.
by Bobbyjohnstwinbrother January 2, 2021
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The Squidward

A sexual act where a man uses a raw squid tube as a condom then engages in anal sex and ejaculates in the squid. Afterwards, him or his partner eat the semen filled squid tube.

The remains of the squid is considered a delicacie and is often fought over.
Me and my boyfriend did the squidward last night. The asshole didn't share any of the squid .
by Cosbycosplay April 11, 2016
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squidward

The act of placing the testicles and penis over someone's eyes and nose to make them appear to be squidward tentacles.
Hey babe, can I squidward you later??

He's really cute, I wonder if he'd let me squidward him?
by tentacle90 April 14, 2014
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squidward

When a guy takes his balls and puts them over the girls eyes and put his dick over the nose so they look like squidward from Spongebob
We were having so much fun i gave her the squidward.
by Paul L January 15, 2006
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squidward

(verb) to squidward.

The act of taking a shit on a girls chest, picking it up, slapping it on her face, then carefully sculpting it around her nose into a beautiful rendition of Squidward's nose from the popular kids tv show Spongebob Squarepants.
squidwarder: Hey guys, you'll never guess what happened last night! Sarah and I were having sex and she wanted me to give her a squidward.

friend 1: That's sick dude, get out of here.
friend 2: We're not friends anymore. Wait a second, you got a picture of that shit?
by the biggest cheese March 11, 2010
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