A horrible novel written by the untalented Stephenie Meyer. This book has absolutely no character development whatsoever. It glorifies unhealthy obsession. Meyer has her main character, the dreary, cliched, miserable Bella Swan, choose between necrophilia and bestiality throughout the series.
The books have overused and exhausted ideas, and there is no apparent reason of why anyone should love this boring teenage girl. The book has the worst grammar I've ever seen published. "Handsomest" is not a word Ms. Meyer. Perhaps you should invest in a new editor, or just stay away from writing all together. As much as you fantasize, you will not marry a vampire just because you based Bella off of your own appearance.
Twilight is like a bad fanfiction. No teenager describes themselves as "ivory skinned". There is no reason to read this book. It is not the romance of the decade. It is an awful book. There are no excuses in which it is reasonable to read this book, unless you are 10 years old and need to get over a fear of vampires, because the vampires in this book sparkle in the sunlight. How intimidating.
The books have overused and exhausted ideas, and there is no apparent reason of why anyone should love this boring teenage girl. The book has the worst grammar I've ever seen published. "Handsomest" is not a word Ms. Meyer. Perhaps you should invest in a new editor, or just stay away from writing all together. As much as you fantasize, you will not marry a vampire just because you based Bella off of your own appearance.
Twilight is like a bad fanfiction. No teenager describes themselves as "ivory skinned". There is no reason to read this book. It is not the romance of the decade. It is an awful book. There are no excuses in which it is reasonable to read this book, unless you are 10 years old and need to get over a fear of vampires, because the vampires in this book sparkle in the sunlight. How intimidating.
by hcan123 October 04, 2010
The entire series is just Meyer (no - wait, my mistake - Bella) swooning over how lucky she is to have such a great he man (aka strong fag), Edward. Edward is from a clan of pussy vampires who never drink human blood. They also have no other vampiristic qualities, so they might as well be Chupacabras. THEN there's the Blacks, an Indian Tribe (so Meyer's got her mix of negro-allusions and redskins) which prominently features Jacob, a boy who, aside from loving Bella for no good reason, is...um... a vampire/shapeshifter?
So Edward is (aside from incredibly beautiful and gorgeous and oh-so-Adonis) very stony. He's often compared to marble, granite and limestone. Alright, not limestone. That's me.
Bella is your ho-hum average bitch with nothing better to do than fall in front of cars, rapists, other vampires, werewolf/transformers and other unbelievable scenarios. She always has Mr. Sparkles to get her ass outta trouble.
Breaking Dawn was the shit (literally). She fawns over Edward and when they do it, they get it DONE. Edward beats the bloody mess out of her without her noticing because I guess getting fucked by a marble cock is mezmerizing enough to not notice you're being bruised like a beat-down banana. Ed is too afraid to hump her again, but Bella seduces him (???~!!!!) with the sorriest lines and he does her again. This time he can focus his horny powers and busts the headboard open. And, oh yeah, bites pillows. Because to 12-30+ year old women, men who bite pillows are fierce lovemakers. Honestly, I'd be wondering what the fuck his problem was.
I stopped there (I'd been looking for reading-porn, but this was ridiculous) but from what I heard, Bella goes all Alien and has a kid go BLAM from her cooch in a hard placenta. She spits up "fountains" (meyer's own words) of blood. Nice. But the bitch don't die.
In the end a huge, built up battle never happens, Jacob Black is destined to fall in love with their kid (further enforcing Meyer's pedo dreams) and Bella and Edward have buttsex till the nerves in her ass go raw.
Meyer is a vain, self-inserting, mormopedophile. It's a good idea that went wrong after the first sentence. I picked up that book when I heard the concept (BEFORE it got popular) and put it down the same day. Someone had to force me to read the damn thing later. I knew nothing of literature at the time - all I knew was that it sucked heavy ass. When we've got the same people who recommend The Catcher in the Rye or Harry Potter or a Clockwork Orange recommending this bullshit, I seriously fear for our future. And I may sound overdramatic with that, but I'm dead serious. Me and my few not-Twitarded friends fight HARD because that book is seriously embarrassing. I thought Sarah Dessen was bad, but Meyer is fucked in the head.
So Edward is (aside from incredibly beautiful and gorgeous and oh-so-Adonis) very stony. He's often compared to marble, granite and limestone. Alright, not limestone. That's me.
Bella is your ho-hum average bitch with nothing better to do than fall in front of cars, rapists, other vampires, werewolf/transformers and other unbelievable scenarios. She always has Mr. Sparkles to get her ass outta trouble.
Breaking Dawn was the shit (literally). She fawns over Edward and when they do it, they get it DONE. Edward beats the bloody mess out of her without her noticing because I guess getting fucked by a marble cock is mezmerizing enough to not notice you're being bruised like a beat-down banana. Ed is too afraid to hump her again, but Bella seduces him (???~!!!!) with the sorriest lines and he does her again. This time he can focus his horny powers and busts the headboard open. And, oh yeah, bites pillows. Because to 12-30+ year old women, men who bite pillows are fierce lovemakers. Honestly, I'd be wondering what the fuck his problem was.
I stopped there (I'd been looking for reading-porn, but this was ridiculous) but from what I heard, Bella goes all Alien and has a kid go BLAM from her cooch in a hard placenta. She spits up "fountains" (meyer's own words) of blood. Nice. But the bitch don't die.
In the end a huge, built up battle never happens, Jacob Black is destined to fall in love with their kid (further enforcing Meyer's pedo dreams) and Bella and Edward have buttsex till the nerves in her ass go raw.
Meyer is a vain, self-inserting, mormopedophile. It's a good idea that went wrong after the first sentence. I picked up that book when I heard the concept (BEFORE it got popular) and put it down the same day. Someone had to force me to read the damn thing later. I knew nothing of literature at the time - all I knew was that it sucked heavy ass. When we've got the same people who recommend The Catcher in the Rye or Harry Potter or a Clockwork Orange recommending this bullshit, I seriously fear for our future. And I may sound overdramatic with that, but I'm dead serious. Me and my few not-Twitarded friends fight HARD because that book is seriously embarrassing. I thought Sarah Dessen was bad, but Meyer is fucked in the head.
Twilight sucks more ass than a vacuum glued to JLo.
Even Robert Pattinson knows it's stupid, he's said it himself.
Stephenie Meyer is a pedophile and I hope she reads this so she'll know that we know her secret. Making kids fall in love with people that old, WHAT'S HER MOTHERFUCKIN PROBLEM?
Edward loves the whisper song because when he banged Bella, he really beat the pussy up.
Even Robert Pattinson knows it's stupid, he's said it himself.
Stephenie Meyer is a pedophile and I hope she reads this so she'll know that we know her secret. Making kids fall in love with people that old, WHAT'S HER MOTHERFUCKIN PROBLEM?
Edward loves the whisper song because when he banged Bella, he really beat the pussy up.
by talking space monkeys August 13, 2008
Everyone seems to refer to Twilight (the people who hate it, that is) as a stupid book for teenie-boppers that makes 13 year old girls brainwashed.
And people say 13 year olds have absolutely no idea whats wrong with Twilight and that they're all stupid and don't know good literature and that the "teenie-boppers" are blind to Bella's Mary-Sueness.
Thats partially true.
1) Fuck you. I'm 13.
2) Bella is a nagging, whiny, Mary Sue who says corny things and needs to stfu already about banging Edward. All she wants is to get some. In Breaking Dawn she DID get some, and got knocked up.
Then she gave birth to the mutant, showoffy, "look at me, I'm one month old and I can speak in proper sentences!" Nessie that Jacob unfortunately has to be the soulmate of.
Edward is boring and wears khaki pants and thinks he can get away with it.
It has no morals or actual point.
The AMAZINGG ending of the AMAZING story?:
Bella becomes a vampire soccermom, Edward finally got laid, Rosalie almost killed Bella with a scalpel (too bad she didnt) and there was absolutely NO AWESOME WAR,
Seriously. I wanted a fucking war. I wanted the Volturi's limbs to be flying everywhere as the Cullens get torn apart in a tangle of Werewolves and sparkly people.
But no. Breaking Dawn was wedding, knocked up, Nessie, the end.
Also, Stephenie Meyer spoils Bella with dresses, amazing weddings, fancy food and pretty much give Stephenie Meyer whatever she wants.
LAME.
I'd write more but I need to go.
Dont give me a thumbsdown, you know its true, fangirls.
Alsooo,
STFU about this "13 year old teenie bopper"s hit.
I'm 13 and I'm not a fucking fangirl.
And people say 13 year olds have absolutely no idea whats wrong with Twilight and that they're all stupid and don't know good literature and that the "teenie-boppers" are blind to Bella's Mary-Sueness.
Thats partially true.
1) Fuck you. I'm 13.
2) Bella is a nagging, whiny, Mary Sue who says corny things and needs to stfu already about banging Edward. All she wants is to get some. In Breaking Dawn she DID get some, and got knocked up.
Then she gave birth to the mutant, showoffy, "look at me, I'm one month old and I can speak in proper sentences!" Nessie that Jacob unfortunately has to be the soulmate of.
Edward is boring and wears khaki pants and thinks he can get away with it.
It has no morals or actual point.
The AMAZINGG ending of the AMAZING story?:
Bella becomes a vampire soccermom, Edward finally got laid, Rosalie almost killed Bella with a scalpel (too bad she didnt) and there was absolutely NO AWESOME WAR,
Seriously. I wanted a fucking war. I wanted the Volturi's limbs to be flying everywhere as the Cullens get torn apart in a tangle of Werewolves and sparkly people.
But no. Breaking Dawn was wedding, knocked up, Nessie, the end.
Also, Stephenie Meyer spoils Bella with dresses, amazing weddings, fancy food and pretty much give Stephenie Meyer whatever she wants.
LAME.
I'd write more but I need to go.
Dont give me a thumbsdown, you know its true, fangirls.
Alsooo,
STFU about this "13 year old teenie bopper"s hit.
I'm 13 and I'm not a fucking fangirl.
Twilight is amazing, somehow. I'll never let go of it. Even though I now opened my eyes to its TOTAL SUCKAGE.
Well, with Bella and Edward atleast.
The Volturi are pretty flyyyy.
Well, with Bella and Edward atleast.
The Volturi are pretty flyyyy.
by myspace.com/missmurder046 September 22, 2008
A book that Stephanie Meyer wrote based on a dream she had. No wonder why this book is so cliche!
Twilight is really all about sex and female sexual desires. Though, you have to be more of a deep reader to understand. I know, "How the hell is Twilight deep?!" It's not. But, there are some symbols in the book. For one, the way Edward wants to bite Bella is an analogy of how much a guy will want to have sex with a girl he likes. Biting=banging. Also, the way Edward always saves Bella whenever she's in trouble just shows how pathetic us women think when it comes to love. Hello, your boyfriend isn't going to be there to save you every time some bastards on the street try to harass you!!!
As a writer myself who has read a wide variety of books in her lifetime, I can say with confidence that Twilight is the worst piece of shit "liturature" I have ever read.
Twilight is really all about sex and female sexual desires. Though, you have to be more of a deep reader to understand. I know, "How the hell is Twilight deep?!" It's not. But, there are some symbols in the book. For one, the way Edward wants to bite Bella is an analogy of how much a guy will want to have sex with a girl he likes. Biting=banging. Also, the way Edward always saves Bella whenever she's in trouble just shows how pathetic us women think when it comes to love. Hello, your boyfriend isn't going to be there to save you every time some bastards on the street try to harass you!!!
As a writer myself who has read a wide variety of books in her lifetime, I can say with confidence that Twilight is the worst piece of shit "liturature" I have ever read.
Girl 1: So, what have you been reading lately?
Girl 2: I'm reading Twilight! Edward is sooo hot!!
Girl 1: I don't think we can be friends anymore.
Girl 2: I'm reading Twilight! Edward is sooo hot!!
Girl 1: I don't think we can be friends anymore.
by TheLitChick July 29, 2009
The fateful episode of the TV show NCIS in which Sasha Alexander's character, Agent Caitlin Todd, loses her life. The last episode of the second season of NCIS which pushed Ari's subplot into high gear for the first two episodes of the third season.
Person A: I'm still in denial about Twilight.
Person B: I don't care, I didn't like Kate.
A: ::slaps B Gibbs-style::
Person B: I don't care, I didn't like Kate.
A: ::slaps B Gibbs-style::
by Laura-san November 19, 2005
A book that Is given way to much credit. People compare it to books like Harry Potter, and thats not right> Harry Potter is wayyyy better. Twilight sucks... end of story!
by LpaulineW August 19, 2008
a peice of shit book saga,written by stephanie meyer, which should be set on fire and flushed down the toilet, the whole series is based on stepanie meyers's wetdream
twilight
by steve169 March 04, 2012