Goldberg's Law

When an individual criticizes whites as a whole, or utters the phrase "fellow white people", and they turn out to be a Jew.
1: Fellow white people we need to recognize all the evil that we have done to others throughout history.
2: They're a jew, another classic case of Goldberg's Law
by TexasPagan July 04, 2020
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Kirkley's Law

In any given situation where it is possible to express an emotion or an opinion, someone is going to be an asshole.
Person 1: "Guys Stephen Hawking just died"
Person 2:"Aw man for real? Rest in peace!"
Person 3:"Now he knows there is a God"
Person 1: " Perfect example of Kirkley's Law asshole"
by MountainGenerator March 14, 2018
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Kim's Law

Every new head of marketing must push to build a custom CMS
New CMO: "Hey guys! Glad to meet you all. We can all agree that WordPress is garbage, am I right? We're better than that!"
Dev whispers to other dev: "Kim's Law strikes again!"
by mostdangerousofmikes December 06, 2018
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Foppington's Law

No matter how toxic or incorrect it might be, a specific opinion will quickly adopt pseudoscientific and metaphysical evidence to try and legitimize it, such as phrenology and personal belief.
Once bigotry or self-loathing permeate a given community, it is only a matter of time before deep metaphysical significance is assigned to the shape of human skulls.
-- ContraPoints definition of Foppington's Law
by The Logical Fallacy August 19, 2018
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Shelly's Law

Named after IR cuckold Tom Shelly, the infamous webmaster of Niggermania; it's a long-observed law identifying the phenomenon of closeted-interracial-cuckoldry found among racists as an overcompensatory coping mechanism. Racists, due to their persistent insecurities, become hyper-obsessed with anything related with black people, rabidly searching the internet for racist posts to justify their impotent, seething racism. With this fixation on black people comes the obsession with black dick: an envisaged large, dark piece of meat that they fear will stretch-out and ruin their crushes, girlfriends, and wives for their own inadequate penises. It's their ultimate taboo; elevated by the all-consuming room black people hold in their heads.
Normal Person: "Ya know, black people aren't bad. I think it's unfortunate how they're disproportionately affected by the American legacy with generations of ghettoization, poverty, and overpolicing, along with other minorities. There should probably be systemic changes to correct this inequality."
Racist: "Fuck n* ggers! Fuck all n* gger loving, BBC worshipping cucks and mud shark wh* res who associate with them! I hope you race traitors get gang r* ped by a bunch of feral n* ggers and become n* gger r* pe slaves!!!"
N P: "Welp, there he goes talking about black dick again. Shelly's Law never fails..."
by U_Have_Small_Penis_Syndrome December 03, 2020
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lawlers law

An nba "law" made by ralph lawler, a clippers commentator. Basically says first to 100 points wins. Has been found to be true 91-92% of the time.
"I can breathe now there that lawlers law thing. First to 100 wins, its the law."
by andsa April 12, 2008
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Dan's Law

“Shut up and do something!”
Phrase coined by metal singer Dan Vasc, to encourage people to work towards solutions to their problems instead of sitting back and complaining.
I am employing Dan's Law on this issue. Shut up and do something.
by SpaceNinja7 September 12, 2021
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