Bristol Herschel Hawkstone was born in 1988 in Vancouver, WA to an Orthodox Jewish family. His father died in a car "accident" when he was 6 and he moved to Reno with his mother afterwards. He became a trapeze artist at age 16 and was married the same year. He fathered 5 children who were all mysteriously murdered. He served 6 months in supermax prison before escaping. The international civil defense agency recruited him after looking into his crime and proving his innocence.
He then became a spy for these United States, and completed every assignment as a "National man of mystery", former gigolo, and true American hero. Through the years he accrued a remarkable number of accomplishments, awards, achievements, and even jumped over a shark once.
In recent years, Bristol has become a timeless legend. A real down to earth, salt of the wound kind of patriot. All of his extracurriculars and his most recent adventure can be read about in his own book entitled; "not without my dr. Pepper." It can be purchased in digital form for $56.75 on Amazon probably.
He then became a spy for these United States, and completed every assignment as a "National man of mystery", former gigolo, and true American hero. Through the years he accrued a remarkable number of accomplishments, awards, achievements, and even jumped over a shark once.
In recent years, Bristol has become a timeless legend. A real down to earth, salt of the wound kind of patriot. All of his extracurriculars and his most recent adventure can be read about in his own book entitled; "not without my dr. Pepper." It can be purchased in digital form for $56.75 on Amazon probably.
by Bristol H. Hawkstone April 26, 2024
Get the Bristol Hawkstonemug. A football team in Bristol, England commonly known for playing terrible football in the championship and disappointing their fans. Also well known for having the fastest football player to ever play: Chris Martin.
Skinhead 1: “Bristol City are so shit why do I pay to watch this shite”
Skinhead 2: “At least Massengo has massive hair”
Skinhead 1: “Yeah I guess, do you want to go and do cocaine in the cubical?”
Skinhead 2: “yeah have you got the bag or has Al got it?”
Skinhead 2: “At least Massengo has massive hair”
Skinhead 1: “Yeah I guess, do you want to go and do cocaine in the cubical?”
Skinhead 2: “yeah have you got the bag or has Al got it?”
by StonesSZN on twitter April 11, 2022
Get the Bristol Citymug. An area of England which chavs live in. They love going to the corner shops with stale lollipops. Going shopping in Aldi when you're Bristolian is very shameful because your friends at lunch time will be super rude about it... justice for Aldi. Every 30 year old goes out in her Abibos tracksuit with 4 stripes and Niek air Max, even though there is a genuine JD just in town only 20 minutes away. If you live in Bristol, the only diss you need is 'Sunday Market'..... jealous of their new Nike shoes? Diss them with the Sunday market diss. Don't like their step-dad's new Audi, bring up the Sunday Market diss. Gotta love Bristol
by Pem June 19, 2018
Get the Bristolmug. by Julian... May 11, 2022
Get the Bristol brownmug. by Bobby166w August 12, 2022
Get the Bristolmug. by TheSpartanicaOfAnyHellstromu3e April 24, 2025
Get the Bristol, briStol, bristoLmug. 