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Ancient Texts

A pop culture event from 5-10+ years ago that someone has never heard of. Typically used on social media to express shock that one has never heard of something or someone.
You didn’t know Gerard Way from MCR wrote comic books? Oh my god, we’re losing the ancient texts.
by CDSadie July 12, 2025
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Ancient unicorn man

A gay man who is over the age of 50 and is into campy or stereotypically "feminine" things like dressing up or make-up. keep in mind that this word shall not be used as a slur or part of hate speech, instead used as an identity term like "bear" or "Twink"
Person 1: my grandpa was actually nominated the oldest ancient unicorn man of the year!
Person 2: neat!
by Busybubsyboo August 19, 2025
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Ancient asshole

Refers to a taste so putrid and soul-crushing that one may prefer to ingest the powdered bodily chocolate-starfish region remains of mumified corpses from bygone days.

A taste emanating from such a foul smell that it transfers onto your taste buds.
Why that brother sniffing MD? It tastes like ancient asshole.

The best thing for a cold is ginger, lemon, honey and garlic. But the garlic makes that concoction taste like ancient asshole.

The other night I was getting lucky with this hot lil thing at mine. I stuck my tongue right down there and it tasted like ancient asshole so I threw her right back out on them streets.
by SouthseaBoyoUK October 23, 2025
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The Ancient Web

The earliest sites and chunks of data that made up the first foundations of the world wide web. Data that has been lost to the depths of the internet and no longer retrievable.

In contemporary terms The Ancient Web is made up of the lost history of the internet sometimes view able on thewaybackmachine or other archives that exists in time before the fall of geocites.

The term will perpetually be changing to consume greater swaths of the history of the internet until clearly defined eras are identified.
"I remember a story from years ago, but it is lost to the ancient web."
by Viroodiem October 29, 2018
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fucking ancient

something that is "fucking ancient" is something insanely cool.
Wow! Look at that girl's outfit. That's so fucking ancient.
by fucking ancient June 12, 2020
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ream of the ancient mariner

This requires the use of a dead albatross and a dirty old sailor. While engaged in doggystyle intercourse, tie the dead albatross around her neck, and while she is struggling to remove the filthy animal, quickly switch places with a dirty old sailor, who will give her a good jabbin' and the surprise of her life. Can be combined with the Rodeo. Perfect for breakup scenarios.
I wanted to end it with Jill, so I contracted a dirty old sailor, caught an albatross at the pier, and ended our relationship with a ream of the ancient mariner.
by Aplusbar October 17, 2006
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The Ancient Ones

The Ancient Rulers of the Darkness, in a time before Time, when no Light existed. They who were slain by The Elder Gods, namely Marduk, begotten son of The Father Enki; Marduk who is Lord of Lords and Magician of Magicians, First Born and Ruler of The Elder Gods, Fashioner of The Magic Name, The Magic Word, The Magic Number and The Magic Shape and were cast into the eternal Abyss, The Netherworld, called Hades and Absu.

From the blood of Kingu, Ruler of The Ancient Ones, was the race of Man created and from the fluids of the vile Serpent Tiamat were the Heavens, the Stars and the Earth created.

The Ancient Ones keep constant watch over The Gates of Absu, forever seeking enterance into Our World, so that They may rule the Earth.

Wicked are those magicians that are skilled that they may rouse The Ancient Ones and rouse The Serpent of The Deep Waters, known as Cthulhu, and grant them access into Our World.

Grant thyself power by The Names of Elder Gods by reading and following to the letter the formulae contained within the pages of The Necronomicon, known as The Book of The Black Earth and The Book of the Dead, brought to us from the teachings and scripts of Abdul Alhazarad, known by many as The Mad Arab, paying particular attention to those written down within the pages of The Maklu Text and The Book of The Calling.
The Elder Gods did War in Heaven with The Ancient Ones, so as to create Light out of Supreme Darkness and the Heavens and The Earth and all that dwell therein.
by E April 6, 2005
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