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Centene Time Warp Theory(CTWT)

Centene Time Warp Theory, or CTWT, is the phenomenon experienced by company employees that proposes that time is not as it is perceived it to be, i.e, minute for minute and second for second as expected. It is in fact a far higher ratio that isn't known until a work week is complete. There is no known formula to calculate this ratio prior to the end of a scheduled shift and is to this point, only a feeling experienced by those exposed. Any one person may have a different feeling that is dependent on their level of exposure.

There is currently no known cure for CTW sickness other than rest and time away from your job.
Pauly had a long week at work. He told Larry and Freddy that he was happy the week was over.

Pauly: Man I'm glad this week is over.

Freddy: Pauly, it's only Monday afternoon.

Pauly: No way, it feels like it's been a week already.

Larry: Pauly, let me educate you on Centene Time Warp Theory(CTWT). It makes you feel like you've worked an exponentially higher number of hours in a short period of time.
by LabwarzLarry February 1, 2023
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Macgyver Theory

The belief that using random, available things to try to make something work will actually work.
Allison uses the MacGyver Theory at her portrait studio. Like, "Get me my snorkel, an avocado, and some dead tree branches. This is going to be the best baby portrait EVER!"
by Realtalk12 May 18, 2015
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The theory of dildotivity

Time travels more slowly as a dildo first begins to wobble. Especially when a suction cup dildo is thrown and sticks to the intended surface.
The theory of dildotivity isn't something that's just on the Urban dictionary. Throw a dildo and find out. See for yourself! Open your eyes!
by Godamongstmentinymen March 13, 2022
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The Faith Theory

when you’re super indecisive and love to change your username, twitter layout, editing theme and mood every 15 seconds. you’re also obsessed with 20 different celebs and you grow an obsession for a new one every day and you use letterboxd like it’s your lifeline 👩 ❤️ 💋 👩
The Faith Theory is more of a problem than an actual Theory.
by fanistonnn March 13, 2022
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Critical Identity Theory

Ray Blanchards definition of what's wrong with modern day society
Critical Identity Theory is easily defined in the National Institute of Health a government board committee.
by AlphaEpsilon September 8, 2023
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A theory about what happens after death. According to this theory, when a person dies, they are not judged by a god or higher power, but by an ancient scroll that falls from the darkness. The scroll contains every action they’ve ever taken good and bad and the soul is forced to relive all their mistakes and moments of cruelty. If they lived with kindness, they fade away peacefully. But if they lived selfishly or hurt others, they are trapped forever, endlessly reliving their wrongdoings in a cycle of regret.
After hearing about The Scroll of Judgment Theory, I’m starting to think that all the bad stuff I’ve done might come back to haunt me when I die
by pseudonymXYX February 9, 2025
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Raymond’s Theory

Raymond’s theory proposes the idea that in some instances a coincidence is in fact a coincidence but rather the result of subliminal messaging by advanced media intelligence.

The idea is that something provokes thoughts about a topic on a subliminal level. The target is unaware that the initial stimuli triggers a chain reaction of connections that ultimately lead to a final destination which is often what the stimuli is trying to promote.

This theory is often confused with the Bavarian Conundrum theorized by Howard Rein, however that principle is actually an inverse examination of Raymond’s Theory, and Dr. Raymond Cism has criticized the Rein’s thinking stating that it is too rhetorical to be properly thought of as a legitimate theory.
“I just had a crazy coincidence happen.”
Are you sure that wasn’t just the effect of Raymond’s Theory?”
by anonymous September 8, 2025
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