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Shit Sandwich Theory

A simple thought experiment to explain the process behind the electoral college

You and two friends decide to go out to eat for lunch, only one of you brought a card so you all agree to venmo the one who brought it after you eat as none of you brought any cash either.

You want to get some pizza, and your two friends want to eat human shit sandwiches, you decide to put it to a democratic vote because that’s obviously the most fair right?

You obviously lose and you have to eat the shit sandwich, sucks doesn’t it?

How could this have been avoided?

Simple, you make your vote worth 2, this forces an even tie and forces the shit sandwich twins (you should probably stop hanging out with them btw) to compromise, you all end up agreeing on burgers and you eat in relative peace

Now apply this logic to the electoral college, and you understand why the Montana Wheat farmer or the Wyoming cattle rancher’s state gets to have as much of a say as California or New York
Statement:“Land doesn’t vote, people do”

Retort: “Shit sandwich theory”
by Cockyrooster1135 June 19, 2022
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The Owl Theory

*After the Manatee Effect or the Mermaid Theory*

WILL HELP YOU GET ANYONE

There are 9 rules:

Rule 1 - DO NOT tell anyone who you like, except for your best friend, or someone you can really trust with a secret.

Rule 2 - DO NOT bring up your past. Don't say stuff like you got depressed after you got rejected, and DO NOT give the reason about why you got rejected.

Rule 3 - You absolutely DO NOT want to get friend-zoned, but don't be afraid to friend-zone her or him. You shouldn't be a total nice-guy, but do not go out of control and star acting rude and cocky.

Rule 4 - If she/he goes on any means of public transportation that you also use, DO NOT sit beside her or him for at least a week or until you are comfortable enough. It will get super awkward, super fast.

Rule 5 - You gotta be relaxed and chill. You can't be tensed or nervous. If you are nervous, you tend to not be able to say something, so in other words, you choke. MAN UP.

Rule 6 - Talk with each other. Find something you both have in common and make that into a conversation.

Rule 7 - If you are really desperate, go on Wiki How and find conversation starters.

Rule 8 - If you are not confident enough and need help, find someone who you can trust, someone who will not develop feelings towards your crush, and ask them to be your third wheel.

Rule 9 - This ties in with the "Bro Code" DO NOT fall for one of your friends exes. Don't compete with any of your friends unless you have a way better chance than they do.
"Yo I really like that chick over there"
"Ight Bro. Keep the Owl Theory in in tho"
by MKO LIVE August 9, 2016
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TPGFKA℘'s Theory

The Prep Group Formerly Known As ℘ says that all High School Lincoln-Douglas Debaters competing in a varsity or open division of a tournament on the National Circuit must be able to pronounce ℘ and identify its country of origin within five seconds of this sentence being read in round. This practice is vital to fight bias within debate. We must encourage intellectual curiosity about different cultures.
The order is one off, TPGFKA℘'s Theory.
by ougrhough September 12, 2025
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junior year theory

The time in college when men and women should reach peak maturity and glow-up status
Liz: "Why are you always going for Juniors?"
Em: "Junior year theory, duh"
by BnBzx December 16, 2023
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The eye theory

The eye theory is when ones eyes are the ones that you are the most fascinated about, they always have a story to tell and just by looking them in the eyes tells you something of them.
Alex: look! John drew Emma's eyes the most accentuated and the most detailed, she doesnt even have such big eyes!
Kim: maybe he has the eye theory!
by Flxwerzy October 26, 2022
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Theory of Gyatt

Gyatt = ((circumference of Gyatt - Circumference of waist) + ( circumference of Gyatt - Circumference of thigh)) x Rate of double take

G = ((Cg-Cw)+(Cg-Ct) x Rdt

*subject to change given further proof of gyatt levels
"bro, she's got a gyatt!" "nah, Bro, that other girl has a better gyatt." "I guess we will have to plug in some measurements into the theory of gyatts."
by $BENJI$ February 18, 2025
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The Accordion Theory

The theory that states that the universe as we know it all rests on one giant accordion, played by a transcendent figure, or “god.” “The Big Bang” was actually just the accordion beginning to expand. We know that the universe is expanding, but we don’t know why. The accordion theory explains this. As they accordion expands outwards, so does the universe. Once the accordion moves back inwards, the universe will collapse, and begin to shrink. Once the accordion fully closes, the universe will be gone. Once it opens again, the universe will be recreated from the Big Bang again, and repeat everything all over in the same exact order.

History repeats itself.
Yo, The Accordion Theory actually kind of makes sense. Got more weed?
by ThirstyThurston February 2, 2021
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