You Must Know Something I Don't

When someone says something outlandish, this is a common response.

Calvin: My head is all swollen, so I'll wrap it in a turban so my parents won't notice!
Hobbes: You must know something I don't.

by MalumLibrum958 January 10, 2023

I Guess I'll Just Kill Myself

Suicide is not the answer.

I Guess I'll Just Kill Myself
No, everyone you know will miss you
You're right

by Bi poppi January 12, 2023

I pressed something

What you say when something bad happens between you and technology.

I pressed something. And now this device is not working. . .great.

by Ereck Flowers November 12, 2018

Sorry, I Can't Be With You On Valentines Day

A cheating asshole.

"Sorry, I Can't Be With You On Valentines Day. I have this big project..."

by Kit Kat Flavored Lima Bean November 15, 2018

I understand the confusion

The most polite way to start a Canadian “fuck you”, using ‘I understand the confusion” can be used to start the most polite “fuck you” statement any person will hear in their entire life.

Me: “What colour do you all see?”
American: “Why did you spell ‘color’ with a u?”
Me: “I am sorry. I understand the confusion, but I live in Canada where we spend things correctly.”

by GarretJohnson November 16, 2018

I-on

A demon-like alien of the race of the sergals. He is a mystique creature who shows up at some dark places. People who see him mostly saw him the first and the last time -

If you see him.. RUN - Try your best. Maybe you can survive

If he doesnt do anything to you, just staring at you, you are fine. But NEVER touch his hair

I-on is a living nightmare, a demon, a ghost.

by UnknownWarrior November 26, 2018

I thought Texas was supposed to be hot

(from folklore)
when someone is glowing brighter than the sun, the sun in this galaxy gets jealous and turns off. the world remains lit by the new star's glorious rays. the only place there is detectable change is in Texas, where the temperature drops dramatically. and so everyone's all 'what I thought Texas was supposed to be hot!' as in 'a new, brighter, more powerful star has been born.'

damn juul pod, you see that shot of Mel @ her new PAYING job?? I thought Texas was supposed to be hot

by whatsawatermelon4 December 7, 2018