uber simp

an uber driver that will continue to drive no matter how low the rates are
man, uber made $50 for this ride and my driver Depak only make $10. He is a real Uber Simp
by skidd18 February 04, 2020
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Schrödinger's SIMP

A SIMP that will attempt to hit on a girl and play it off as a joke. This typically manifests in incels that lack the confidence to actually declare their attraction to a female. You can easily spot one of these grotesque creatures if you call them out on discord for it and they respond "bro I was joking" or "dude I was being ironic."
Girl: "Jeez, I've been in my house all day because of COVID. I really should get out more!"
Guy1: "I'd love to take you out"
Girl: *quiet*
Guy1: "HA I was being ironic"

Guy2: "Holy fuck Guy1 is a fucking Schrödinger's SIMP"
Guy1: "Bro I was just joking"
by YouGoodBro? November 18, 2020
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Fiat simp

A person obsessed with upholding fiat currency, like the US dollar, to the detriment of cryptocurrency, like Bitcoin.
Janet Yellen is the worst fiat simp.
by GasMachine February 23, 2021
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Simp Bait

One who hits on their friends to draw attention, allowing others to flirt, so a simp can be found.
I am simp bait so Rio can find a simp.
by Handy_manny69 December 25, 2020
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Simp Contract

dude, you need a simp contract, you simp!
by donutkiller September 20, 2020
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#1 Simp

Somebody that completely neglects hanging with the boys to go get some Coochie. If they are the #1 simp then they miss out with the squad and dont even get any coochie no matter the effort they put in.
Yo he missed the game to go to prom with this thot. He’s the #1 simp.
by ISeeAllSimps February 21, 2020
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No Simp Paradox

The misconception that some actions of simping can be interpreted as no simping. Some actions are simping regardless if you do them or not. The action of holding a door for the female gender is clearly related to simping. However, by you revoking the action, the females simp-radar might catch the act by thinking "wow, he does not want me to know he likes me, that's why he wont hold the door for me".
You're really about to fuck up no simp september bro, you've been caught by the no simp paradox
by Ph.D. in No Simping September 16, 2020
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