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tactically retarded

People (gamers who play Online Mass Multiplayers, in particular) who seem to play without any coherent idea as to what they should do, and remain oblivious about the positions of their team, the enemy, or even complete functions and aspects of the game they're playing.
Their gameplay is so atrociously bad, that it gives the impression they suffer from Attention Decifit Disorder, or have never even heard of computer or video games until that very moment, despite having played the game a couple hundred times by then.
In most cases, they're completely detrimental to the team, dying early on without contributing much, or even hindering the game for others.
In the rare occasions they're actually helpful, it's more by accident than by willful act from their part (i.e. acting as cannon fodder, or spotting enemies and giving them something to concentrate on)
*match starts, players on friendly team split to try and cover all sides of the map.*
Joe: Follow me, guys!
*Joe rushes ahead, out into the open*
Mack: Joe, stop, they'll spot you!
*Joe gets shot, spots an enemy stops in the middle of the open field to engage it*
*Joe gets obliterated by multiple enemies*
Joe: Stupid team! Why didn't you help me?!
Mack: Because you're tactically retarded, Joe, that's why. Why did you rush ahead?!
by Acronymus February 26, 2017
mugGet the tactically retardedmug.

retard contest

When 2 or more idiot drivers compete to see who can make the most terrible and dangerous decisions in the shortest amount of time. Contests usually start when one driver sees another moving slightly faster than they are and goes full retard trying to catch up and overtake them. Typically this happens on interstates and in slow or congested traffic and is in pursuit of shaving 30 seconds off their commute at the expense of other drivers.
Slow down honey they are having a retard contest up there I don’t want to get involved.
by NastyHousewife July 10, 2023
mugGet the retard contestmug.

Retarded Pain

A pain that increases so rapidly that all control of basic motor functions is lost and all you can manage to do is moan in agony.
Once while pushing a car in sandals my foot was in the path of the tire and as the car got right on top i became struck with Retarded Pain and was unable to push the car off until a friend helped me.
by Tw34kd November 13, 2009
mugGet the Retarded Painmug.

Existentially retarded

Someone who is incapable of generating any sort of emotion toward anyone or anything that exists.
Yo, have you seen what Nathan did to his girl? He is so existentially retarded!
by Psususususus June 1, 2021
mugGet the Existentially retardedmug.

Retarded icecream

A retarded icecream is when someone is acting like a absolute melt
by Dorine June 17, 2018
mugGet the Retarded icecreammug.

commentally retarded

Condition whereby confused or oblivious (often elderly) people befoul a social media post with inane, irrelevant, offensive or otherwise horrid replies.
/normal human posts cover photo of beautiful sunset

Normal human's commentally retarded parent replies: "WHAT TIME ARE YOU GOING TO UNCLE JOE'S FOR SUPPER NEXT WEEK ? !"
by Captain Walleye November 29, 2021
mugGet the commentally retardedmug.

Sugar Retarded

What you become when you shove a Gordian Knot of gummy worms down your throat, chug an entire 2L soda, a candy bar milkshake, then snort an entire bag of sugar for good measure.
"Jason really overdid the candy at the party yesterday, he's still Sugar retarded"
by realmrniceface July 9, 2021
mugGet the Sugar Retardedmug.

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