An STD, named after anyone that was in a marching band. Symptoms include itchiness, red spots, anal leakage, breast tissue growth and listening to Neil Diamond on repeat for days at a time. Unfortunately no treatment at this time is available except for palliative care including cool baths in oatmeal, listening to Kenny G, and always double bagging it.
Girl 1: oh shit, green eyes and blonde hair, AND he knows fingering techniques?
Girl 2: Dont Lisa, last I heard, he was receiving treatment for a 'blown out clarinet'.
Girl 2: Dont Lisa, last I heard, he was receiving treatment for a 'blown out clarinet'.
by HM Barber February 22, 2019

by WDM50266 May 24, 2023

The clarinet is the best instrument in the band, and the one with the most parts to put together. The clarinets are usually always the band director's favorite section because they actually LEARN their parts and DON'T TALK while the director's talking (unlike the trumpets), and LISTEN to the director, unlike the percussionists.
Band Director: Thank you clarinets for actually learning your parts to the music and practicing, UNLIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. I wish you knuckleheads would be more like the clarinets. (saying "UNLIKE EVERYBODY ELSE" louder so everybody else can hear him and kindly teasing the rest of the band by calling them knuckleheads, as that's their little class nickname.)
by Dance_Softball_Gurl December 27, 2021

A sex act in which a man inserts a kazoo into his rectum while his partner takes the tip of the man's penis into his or her mouth and mimes playing a clarinet. The man should do his best to fart out a tune while making sure not to shit into the kazoo.
Did you see Tara at last night's party? She played 'Oh When the Saints Go Marching In' on Billy's ghetto clarinet.
by Smelly Randolph March 17, 2016

The clarinet is the best instrument in the band, and the one with the most parts to put together. The clarinets are usually always the band director's favorite section because they actually LEARN their part and don't talk while the director's talking (unlike the trumpets), and listen to the director, unlike the percussionists.
Band Director: Thank you clarinets for actually learning your parts to the music and practicing, UNLIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. (saying "UNLIKE EVERBODY ELSE" louder so everybody else can hear him.)
Clarinets: *Sitting there, feeling super proud*
The rest of the band: *Feeling guilty for not practicing and learning the music*
Clarinets: *Sitting there, feeling super proud*
The rest of the band: *Feeling guilty for not practicing and learning the music*
by Dance_Softball_Gurl December 27, 2021

by Sir-Hops-A-Lot February 14, 2021

by krillabis April 4, 2025
