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ghetto clarinet

A sex act in which a man inserts a kazoo into his rectum while his partner takes the tip of the man's penis into his or her mouth and mimes playing a clarinet. The man should do his best to fart out a tune while making sure not to shit into the kazoo.
Did you see Tara at last night's party? She played 'Oh When the Saints Go Marching In' on Billy's ghetto clarinet.
by Smelly Randolph March 17, 2016
mugGet the ghetto clarinetmug.

Pork clarinet

"I'm going home to watch porn. I'll play a tune on my pork clarinet."
by IvorBiggunFan March 23, 2024
mugGet the Pork clarinetmug.

B-flat Armored Clarinet

A name for the straight-belled soprano saxophone owing to its similarity to a metal clarinet.
Sam's ok on the alto-sax but he can tear up the b-flat armored clarinet.
by Sir-Hops-A-Lot February 14, 2021
mugGet the B-flat Armored Clarinetmug.

clarinet

please hand me my clarinet my butt needs a fucking
by gaydier January 26, 2024
mugGet the clarinetmug.

crooked clarinet

A crooked clarinet is an affectionate term for a crooked dick.
Please give me some of that sweet, sweet crooked clarinet! Ahhh! Ohhh! Yassss!
by Purplenado March 7, 2023
mugGet the crooked clarinetmug.

glass clarinet

A colloquialism for a glass bong. This term is used when the substance being smoked in cannabis, as opposed to other agents. The term is thought to have originated in southeastern Connecticut
I was driving down the highway with my best bro and thought I smelled marijuana coming from the car in front of me. I pull up next to the guy and he's playing the glass clarinet!
by Huffle-Puff-Daddy September 11, 2016
mugGet the glass clarinetmug.

blown out clarinet

An STD, named after anyone that was in a marching band. Symptoms include itchiness, red spots, anal leakage, breast tissue growth and listening to Neil Diamond on repeat for days at a time. Unfortunately no treatment at this time is available except for palliative care including cool baths in oatmeal, listening to Kenny G, and always double bagging it.
Girl 1: oh shit, green eyes and blonde hair, AND he knows fingering techniques?
Girl 2: Dont Lisa, last I heard, he was receiving treatment for a 'blown out clarinet'.
by HM Barber February 22, 2019
mugGet the blown out clarinetmug.

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