Bass Clarinet

Football player 1: what instrument is that?
Football player 2: I think it’s a saxophone...
Drum major: *throws baton* NOT a SaXiPhOnE!

Me: Bass Clarinet!
Football player 1: what the heak is that?
by Emmadilemma1305 March 21, 2019
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Bass Clarinet

THE WEIRDEST FUCKING INSTRUMENT TO PLAY! Often slobbered on by people who deep throaght the instrument while looking insane
"hey your bass clarinet is too far down your throat!"
by trfygubhjknlm May 09, 2019
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Pork clarinet

"I'm going home to watch porn. I'll play a tune on my pork clarinet."
by IvorBiggunFan March 23, 2024
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ghetto clarinet

A sex act in which a man inserts a kazoo into his rectum while his partner takes the tip of the man's penis into his or her mouth and mimes playing a clarinet. The man should do his best to fart out a tune while making sure not to shit into the kazoo.
Did you see Tara at last night's party? She played 'Oh When the Saints Go Marching In' on Billy's ghetto clarinet.
by Smelly Randolph December 09, 2015
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Clarinet bimbo

One who plays a clarinet whilst acting as a bimbo, unfortunately once a clarinet bimbo always a clarinet bimbo.
by Wut28 August 01, 2017
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glass clarinet

A colloquialism for a glass bong. This term is used when the substance being smoked in cannabis, as opposed to other agents. The term is thought to have originated in southeastern Connecticut
I was driving down the highway with my best bro and thought I smelled marijuana coming from the car in front of me. I pull up next to the guy and he's playing the glass clarinet!
by Huffle-Puff-Daddy February 17, 2016
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blown out clarinet

An STD, named after anyone that was in a marching band. Symptoms include itchiness, red spots, anal leakage, breast tissue growth and listening to Neil Diamond on repeat for days at a time. Unfortunately no treatment at this time is available except for palliative care including cool baths in oatmeal, listening to Kenny G, and always double bagging it.
Girl 1: oh shit, green eyes and blonde hair, AND he knows fingering techniques?
Girl 2: Dont Lisa, last I heard, he was receiving treatment for a 'blown out clarinet'.
by HM Barber February 23, 2019
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