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The Pirate Cowboy Astronaut Theorem

The theory that all male-identifying individuals can be categorized as either a pirate, a cowboy, or an astronaut. Some combination thereof is a possibility, but one classification is always dominant. The categories need no defined criteria because the correct placement is almost always surprisingly obvious.
"I really like him, which is surprising because based on The Pirate Cowboy Astronaut Theorem he's more of an astronaut, and I'm usually more attracted to pirate men."
"I get that. I'm mostly into cowboys at the moment, but I could definitely see myself settling down with an astronaut one day."
by hannahmadison69 January 19, 2024
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gooch astronaut

A move when making an attack on another's gooch (see gooch attack) when you pick the victim up with one arm and gooch them with the other while they are in the air

You can have two or more attacks to have one pick up the victim and the other gooch attack
dude I was laying on the couch when Andrew picked me up and Nick gooched the hell out of me, i got gooch astronauted hard

i gooch astronauted your sister
by Pickles Pickles August 10, 2011
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astronaut icecream sandwich

ive saw in my dreams but i couldnt taste it inside dream, its all because i didnt taste irl, and i have no memory of tasting it thats why
by imakeweirddefinitions February 23, 2023
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reverse astronaut cowboy

when to people are advance the go to space just to do reverse cowgirl, but its 2022 so we call it reverse cowboys cause we do it better.

see glex, twitch glexplays
chxxryblxxsm: Glex what position do you wanna do tonight I’m thinking reverse cowgirl what about you
glex: how about reverse astronaut cowboy
by misshap. September 12, 2022
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The Albuquerque Astronaut

A sexual act in which the male urinates into a fishbowl and dunks the female participant's head into the bowl and anally penetrates the woman from behind.
Last night was crazy man, I gave Becky the Albuquerque Astronaut.
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Astronaut Surprise

On the next SpaceX mission, PornHub is going to attempt an Astronaut Surprise!
by TheOriginalYeet February 13, 2021
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Astronaut pussy

Can we get any higher than a giraffes pussy?

Yeah! You can get "astronaut pussy" the highest you can get.
by Bigbirddebelen August 9, 2024
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