Asymptomatic COVID

Carrying infection (the COVID virus) without symptoms of illness.
DOCTOR: Sir, your physical exam is fine, but your COVID test is positive, meaning you are asymptomatic COVID carrier.

ME: Whaat, bruh? Naw, I feel good! I ain’t infected! What am I infected with?
DOCTOR: COVID, the test was for COVID. You are infected. With the COVID virus.

ME: That’s some bullshit! That ain’t me! I’m good, baby! 100% Beastmode!!
DOCTOR: Sorry sir, but the tests are accurate. You are an asymptomatic COVID carrier and you are at risk of infecting others.

ME: you ain't hearing me? Beast-fuckin’-Mode!

DOCTOR: You’ll need to quarantine yourself and wear a mask more consistently, to prevent the spread of COVID.
ME: Quara-what? Mask whaaa? Masks kill people! Nobody wore a mask and lived, EVER! You want me to die? Thought you was a doctor?!
DOCTOR: MmmKay. Sir. If I may...?

1) stop being a little bitch.

2) think about others you might infect.

3) wear your fucking mask, you bitchass fucktard.

4) Where my copay at, son???

ME: It’s just a fuckin conspiracy from the MMI (mask manufacturing illuminati)…fucking masks…
DOCTOR: Oh, and the mask covers you mouth AND YOUR NOSE. Because the COVID virus is up in your nose. So cover your fucking nose, Captain Beastmode. Stethoscope droppppp!!
by Magic Brain Pills September 06, 2020
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Covid coitus

The increased sex couples have as a result of sheltering-in. Unfortunately, there is evidence the virus may be present in bodily fluids. Covid-19, Coronavirus, shelter-in, Covid, sex, intercourse, President Trump, vaccine, nursing home, emergency room, the virus, stimulus, Trumper, Trump army, Covid and chill
The Covid coitus has been great, but now I think I might actually have the virus.
by joecoolthefool May 09, 2020
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a covid nap

when it's covid times and you're exhausted.
dont bother him, hes taking a covid nap.
by edeninoctober January 09, 2021
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COVID CATFISH

When someone uses their COVID FACE to lure in lovers knowing damn well they ain't cute under that mask.
I have to call Nev, because I was COVID CATFISHED by that guy I met on OnlyFans.
by VERISSA SHOMO September 10, 2020
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Covid Toe

Proof that my friends are idiots
Hey Ryandid you have that Covid toe?
by Uncle Spandy January 07, 2022
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COVID Variant

Evolved offshoots of the COVID-19 virus, they often have long ass names but most are named some random Sci-Fi star-trek transformer codename shit like omicron or xbb. Some covid variants can even come from other covid variants, covidception.
"I'm infected with COVID Variant Omega-XN.Z/83Y.3/9-Omicron 273XB, i heard it makes you have diarrhea and shit blood."
by flopgaming October 09, 2023
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Covid 18

1. The epic sequel of covid 19.

2. A typo
1. Yo mans got covid 18

Bruh

2. Texting

I tested positive for covid 18

Is there a new virus i

dont know about?

19*.

Idiot
by Crippily Crepe January 18, 2021
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