Canadian History is a sex act so deplorable that it can not be mentioned on T.V. But thanks to the glory of the Internet I can explain it to you here. It was created by two mounties on a frigid December night. They were water boarding a moonshiner in a log cabin trying to get him to confess the location of his distillery. Hours went by and they were getting no where. So they had to think fast. The only supplies they had left in the cabin were an extremely large set of moose antlers a jug of maple syrup and oddly enough the Stanly cup. Quick on there feet they covered the mans member in maple syrup and began violently jerking him off. Right as the man was about to peak sexually they simultaneously smashed his genitals with the Stanley cup and rammed the moose antlers up his ass using the remainder of the maple syrup as lube. The force was so great that the mans prostate exploded so violently that he confessed the distillery's exact location before he even knew what he had done.
by Canadian History 101 February 7, 2010
Get the canadian history mug.A North American country, situated to the north of the United States where the inhabitants become more and more insane as you go further east. For example, people living in Vancouver are known for being conservative, mundane breeders, while Newfoundlanders are absolutely and wonderfully mad.
by Anonymous July 3, 2003
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Denmark is the Canada of Europe. Denmark is pretty cold, we like hockey, and nobody really pays any attention to us or know where Denmark is.
by Phabian April 8, 2008
Get the The Canada of Europe mug.America's hat
Also the inspiration for the Five Iron Frenzy song, "Oh Canada," which tells you everything there is to know about America's hat.
Also the inspiration for the Five Iron Frenzy song, "Oh Canada," which tells you everything there is to know about America's hat.
Oh Canada
Welcome to Canada, it's the Maple Leaf State.
Canada, oh Canada it's great!
The people are nice and they speak French too.
If you don't like it, man, you sniff glue.
The Great White North, their kilts are plaid,
Hosers take off, it's not half bad.
I want to be where yaks can run free,
Where Royal Mounties can arrest me.
Let's go to Canada, let's leave today,
Canada, oh, Canada, I Si Vous Plait.
They've got trees, and mooses, and sled dogs,
Lots of lumber, and lumberjacks, and logs!
We all think it's kind of a drag,
That you have to go there to get milk in a bag.
They say "eh?" instead of "what?" or "duh?"
That's the mighty power of Canada.
I want to be where lemmings run into the sea,
Where the marmosets can attack me.
Let's go to Canada, let's leave today,
Canada, oh, Canada, I Si Vous Plait.
Please, please, explain to me,
How this all has come to be,
We forgot to mention something here.
Did we say that William Shatner is a native citizen?
And Slurpees made from venison,
That's deer.
Let's go to Canada, let's leave today,
Canada, oh, Canada, I Si Vous Plait.</end of song>
Canadian: Eh?
Welcome to Canada, it's the Maple Leaf State.
Canada, oh Canada it's great!
The people are nice and they speak French too.
If you don't like it, man, you sniff glue.
The Great White North, their kilts are plaid,
Hosers take off, it's not half bad.
I want to be where yaks can run free,
Where Royal Mounties can arrest me.
Let's go to Canada, let's leave today,
Canada, oh, Canada, I Si Vous Plait.
They've got trees, and mooses, and sled dogs,
Lots of lumber, and lumberjacks, and logs!
We all think it's kind of a drag,
That you have to go there to get milk in a bag.
They say "eh?" instead of "what?" or "duh?"
That's the mighty power of Canada.
I want to be where lemmings run into the sea,
Where the marmosets can attack me.
Let's go to Canada, let's leave today,
Canada, oh, Canada, I Si Vous Plait.
Please, please, explain to me,
How this all has come to be,
We forgot to mention something here.
Did we say that William Shatner is a native citizen?
And Slurpees made from venison,
That's deer.
Let's go to Canada, let's leave today,
Canada, oh, Canada, I Si Vous Plait.</end of song>
Canadian: Eh?
by BethIsRight December 29, 2005
Get the Canada mug.by thiscomercialsucksass23095 June 9, 2009
Get the canada mug.A country known for reasonably good beer, hockey, snow, and maple syrup. Gave the world some good actors, and damn funny comedians. Canada's greatest gift to the world: The Kids In The Hall.
Also a country full of arrogant, hypocritical snobs who greatly enjoy talking shit about other countries for no apparent reason. Childish internet tough guys with a massive, and entirely undeserved superiority complex that makes Americans seem modest by comparison. Canadians take third place in arrogance coming in second to France, with Brazil taking up first place.
When thinking of these people, think of Canada as America's little brother. For this metaphor, imagine America as the older brother that became a doctor, went off to war, and became a famous hero. Canada didn't go to college, because Canada wanted to smoke pot, and try doing stand-up comedy. Canada is great fun at parties, but get it drunk, and all Canada does is talk shit about America. Canada's overall good really, it's just those few times the more asinine part of Canada shows -like in the other definitions posted here- that make Canada look bad. If only someone could SHUT that part of Canada UP, Canada would be so much better for it, and there would be less awkwardness between Canada and it's brother America.
Also, it's rumored the country is so full of immagrants because any natural born canadians are born with extremely small, pine cone shaped genitalia making reproduction nearly impossible. This rumor is unproven, as no one wants to fuck a Canadian.
Also a country full of arrogant, hypocritical snobs who greatly enjoy talking shit about other countries for no apparent reason. Childish internet tough guys with a massive, and entirely undeserved superiority complex that makes Americans seem modest by comparison. Canadians take third place in arrogance coming in second to France, with Brazil taking up first place.
When thinking of these people, think of Canada as America's little brother. For this metaphor, imagine America as the older brother that became a doctor, went off to war, and became a famous hero. Canada didn't go to college, because Canada wanted to smoke pot, and try doing stand-up comedy. Canada is great fun at parties, but get it drunk, and all Canada does is talk shit about America. Canada's overall good really, it's just those few times the more asinine part of Canada shows -like in the other definitions posted here- that make Canada look bad. If only someone could SHUT that part of Canada UP, Canada would be so much better for it, and there would be less awkwardness between Canada and it's brother America.
Also, it's rumored the country is so full of immagrants because any natural born canadians are born with extremely small, pine cone shaped genitalia making reproduction nearly impossible. This rumor is unproven, as no one wants to fuck a Canadian.
"Oh, you're a Canadian? Real powerful message you've got there with the maple leaf on your flag. 'Oh we're Canada! Don't mess with us or we'll... dry up and blow away!' What have you accomplished since... ever, besides making people laugh intentionally and unintentionally?"
Some Guy: "Oh, you're from Canada? Hehe, nice country eh?"
Canadian: "HEY, FUCK YOU BUDDY. WE DON'T SAY EH, EVEN THOUGH I JUST DID EH, BUT THAT WAS JUST TO POINT OUT THAT WE DON'T SAY IT EH. I'LL BET YOU'RE STUPID. I'LL BET YOU'RE FROM A STUPID COUNTRY, LIKE AMERICA. AMERICA SUCKS FOR NO REASON THAT I CAN NAME. FUCK ALL OF YOU, MY DICK IS BIGGER THAN YOURS. NO I WON'T PROVE IT YOU FAG. FUCKING AMERICAN FAGGOT THINKING YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL FAMOUS AND ACCOMPLISHED AND SHIT, AND THE REST OF THE WORLD DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHO WE ARE. AS SOON AS I FINISH MY BEER, I'LL KICK YOUR ASS. I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!!!"
Some Guy: "I'm from Vienna, actually..."
Canadian: "YEAH, WELL FUCK YOU TOO EH!"
Canadian: "We Jim Carrey, Mike Meyers, and Shania Twain! Ha!"
Other person: "Yeah, if you're so great then why'd all your celebrities move *away* from your country?"
Some Guy: "Oh, you're from Canada? Hehe, nice country eh?"
Canadian: "HEY, FUCK YOU BUDDY. WE DON'T SAY EH, EVEN THOUGH I JUST DID EH, BUT THAT WAS JUST TO POINT OUT THAT WE DON'T SAY IT EH. I'LL BET YOU'RE STUPID. I'LL BET YOU'RE FROM A STUPID COUNTRY, LIKE AMERICA. AMERICA SUCKS FOR NO REASON THAT I CAN NAME. FUCK ALL OF YOU, MY DICK IS BIGGER THAN YOURS. NO I WON'T PROVE IT YOU FAG. FUCKING AMERICAN FAGGOT THINKING YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL FAMOUS AND ACCOMPLISHED AND SHIT, AND THE REST OF THE WORLD DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHO WE ARE. AS SOON AS I FINISH MY BEER, I'LL KICK YOUR ASS. I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!!!"
Some Guy: "I'm from Vienna, actually..."
Canadian: "YEAH, WELL FUCK YOU TOO EH!"
Canadian: "We Jim Carrey, Mike Meyers, and Shania Twain! Ha!"
Other person: "Yeah, if you're so great then why'd all your celebrities move *away* from your country?"
by Mr Misanthrope March 1, 2007
Get the canadian mug.Noun.
Plural: Canadian Two by Fours.
Definition: Two 4x4 posts bolted/screwed/glued together, to make a single approximately 4x8 board. Invented by a Canadian contractor working on a very overbuilt deck.
Plural: Canadian Two by Fours.
Definition: Two 4x4 posts bolted/screwed/glued together, to make a single approximately 4x8 board. Invented by a Canadian contractor working on a very overbuilt deck.
by Scarab November 29, 2004
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