The Espinozian Theorem

A subject that doesn't have anything to do with anything taught by a teacher, but somehow makes perfect sense.

Spanish Teacher: And this particular word was added to the spanish dictionary because....... (five minutes later) and thats how pancakes were made.

Student One: What just happened?

Student Two: We just learned the Espinozian Theorem

by Frost Wolf Kai January 30, 2010

Party Weirdness Theorem

The more seemingly inconvenient* the timing for a party, the weirder** things are going to get. This is due to the timing drawing out only the most dedicated party-goers, resulting in nothing short of debauchery worthy of the Shred Lord, Himself.

*There is no inconvenient timing.
**More absofuckingmazing.

By the Party Weirdness Theorem, Wine Wednesday was bound to be a success!

by Sir Alex of SLO March 17, 2013

Potato Chip Theory

The event or thought of not being able to stop after doing something once. The name comes from the fact that almost no one can eat just one chip, they always want more.

(In Transfomers: The Revenge Of The Fallen) Optimus Prime to Megatron: "You'll never stop at one." Optimus Prime now has a solid understanding of the Potato Chip Theory

The Potato Chip Chip Theory explains why the villains in movies never stop with killing or suppressing one person.

by Sir Hillington July 14, 2014

Einstein's Theory of Textivity

When you and the other person are texting answers or responses to each others' last text, but the conversation makes no sense and is completely out of sync.

Einstein's Theory of Textivity

by Ae5Ea8 November 2, 2016

Potato Relativity Theorem

In essence, we are all potatoes. No matter where you go, the distribution of potato level in people never changes. An above average potato will above average no matter where it goes and a below average potato will always be below average no matter where it goes.

Josh: Man, I feel like such a potato for making a B on that exam.
Larry: Dude, the next highest grade was a 53. What are you talking about?
Josh: Idk man sometimes I wonder if I would do better or worse at another school.
Sam: Nah man you'd do about the same. The potato relativity theorem says so.

by Yubashiri December 16, 2016

'Second Beer Pool Master' Theory

Second Beer Pool Master is the phenomenon observed at a pool table after the subject has consumed a select quantity of a brewed alcoholic beverage.

Extensive studies have shown that although consumption of a second brewed beverage within a short time period has the ability to improve pool skills, a third appears to initiate the numbing process of the the brain dedicated towards being a Pool Master.

The skill level of a pool player can be determined by the following process:

where(player.Environment = "Pool Table") {
set skillLevel.value to 1 ///out of 10
beersConsumed = 0
foreach(beer as consumed) {
beersConsumedNow = beersConsumed + 1
}
if(beersConsumedNow < 1) {
set skillLevel.value to 2
}
elsif(beersConsumedNow = 2) {
set skillLevel.value to 9.5
set player.label to 'Legend'
set hotGirls.affinity to 182%
}
elsif(beersConsumedNow >2) {
foreach(countOf(beersConsumedNow)) {
set skillLevel.value to (history.skillLevel - (beersConsumedNow/10))
}
}
}

Darren: How did you pull that move off? It was incredibe!
Scott: I am a believer of the 'Second Beer Pool Master' theory.

Have you found your Lord and Savior "Beer, the Second"

by Haydius April 7, 2017