Skip to main content

Canada's History

The sexual act of inserting a moose antler into a beaver on the back of a Royal Canadian Mounted Police constable during the Stanley Cup challenge. A mooseknuckle can be substituted if it's another Wings/Penguins matchup, and the antler may be inserted in Stephen Harper on Boxing Day or Stephen Colbert in the Vancouver Olympics.
Wow, you really gave Stephen a dose of Canada's History there, eh?
by lionscorp February 5, 2010
mugGet the Canada's Historymug.

Canada's History

A sex act involving moose antlers, maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup.
After me and Stacey did Canada's History, we couldn't look each other in the eye for days.
by tycoonius February 4, 2010
mugGet the Canada's Historymug.

Canada's History

The most repulsive sex act known to mankind, involving moose antlers, a jug of maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup.

1. Don't be a Noob, remember the lube!

2. Fill up woman with maple syrup by use of anal beer bong.

3. Store Stanley Cup in male's rectum

4. Woman must spray maple syrup from butt into Stanley Cup in the man's rectum.

5. Hollow out antlers to function as "crazy-fun-straw" to drink maple syrup from man's rectum.

6. Rinse, repeat, maybe switching gender roles.

7. Proceed to make sensitive, passionate love.
"Could you help me with the groceries, honey? I'm a little sore from when Condoleeza Rice gave me an in-depth reenaction of Canada's History yesterday."

"Sure, okay Dad..."
by KT151LN February 4, 2010
mugGet the Canada's Historymug.

Canada's History

The act of dumping an entire jug of maple syrup on the Stanley Cup and shoving said cup, up the anus. Abnormally large, preferably freshly molted moose antlers are then used as pliers to drop the Canadian cuisine Poutine down the mouth of a young Canadian woman. Beavers are optional.

It is illegal in 54 United States.
Broseph, last night I studied up on some of Canada's History with my girlfriend, Darcy, last night, aye.

Colbert made me do this.
by Butt Sweat February 4, 2010
mugGet the Canada's Historymug.

Canada's History

When you perform a Boston Pancake, wrap the pancake around a sexual toy, freeze it, then insert it into a relative's sexual orifice. You must create a drilling motion with the toy and you must wear a Bigfoot suit.
Steve - "Wow did you see that Canada's History John gave to Mom yesterday?"

Jill - "Yea, I did! You know, I wanted to be her first, dang!"
by CRich_ February 4, 2010
mugGet the Canada's Historymug.

Canada's History

An obscure sexual act between distance lovers, so named after the lengthy and distant span of Canada's history. Two people using computer technology, or phones if you must, lie nude in a self-dug ditch, preferably in the woods, that has been well-urinated in. The technology is to maintain audio and/or video communication between the two lovers. While discussing the mating habits of woodland creatures, the couple masturbates furiously until achieving orgasm, at which moment they are to leap out of the hole and climb the nearest tree to its top. While the adrenaline is still fresh and powerful (like the urine) from the act, the lovers take a deep, slow breath from atop the tree. This links the post-coitus mates together through the power of nature, which smells and tastes like Canada's History.
When Johnny and Sally were apart, attending college in different states, they maintained their amorous attitudes toward each other by sharing Canada's History once or twice a week.
by Hans Van Dingo February 4, 2010
mugGet the Canada's Historymug.

Canada's History

A vile and depraved sex act for those with whom gerbilling was simply not enough. A gerbil is inserted into the anus for sexual stimulation, then, once removed, it is used to gag a partner's mouth, who is then (usually) double-penetrated.
"Did you hear Cindy's going to be the party?"
"Yeah, but I wouldn't touch that with a ten-foot pole, I heard she did Canada's History with some random dude last week."
"I am horrified."

---------------------------
"Did you hear about that magazine The Beaver?"
"What about it?"
"It's changing its name to 'Canada's History' because they thought it's name would no longer be censored for pornography!"
"Boy is that ironic!"
by Thulnak February 4, 2010
mugGet the Canada's Historymug.

Share this definition