con qui fail d'aplomb

(acronym cqfd, but rarely used) : an offensive Quebec French phrase, which translated to English literally means an oafish, boorish, clumsy person who spectacularly fails at everything they do

(scene from Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets):

diary-released Tom Riddle : Harry, let me take you back in time, and show you who really opened The Chamber of Secrets the first time around.

Harry : who was he?

Tom Riddle: i am sure you would recognize him as Hagrid.

Harry: are you serious?Hagrid? But please don't qualify him as a con qui fail d'aplomb

by Sexydimma December 7, 2016

Epic Fail

The stupidest most pointless word in the English language...well maybe aside from lol....if you use this word someone will hack your head off with a machette.

Girl 1: lol epic fail
Girl 2: you suck

by yourjealousofme September 26, 2011

gifted fail

A mark on a test below a 90%.

"Dude I bombed this test "

"Really"

"yeah 87%"
"seriosly dude that's just a gifted fail"

by The-Poison-Muse December 17, 2016

fail hole

When someone uses business jargon that makes them sound like a complete moron.

Kevin: Well there are the known unknowns to consider....
Derek: Did you just say known unknowns? Did those words really just come out of your fail hole?

by Work Demon May 8, 2015

Fail Cake

It's when a person fails to do something or says something that just doesn't work. When the result of something is totally unsatisfactory and/or potentially embarrassing.

It's like when a cake tastes like a dry piece of cornbread with super sugary icing on top: basically unpalatable.

Person 1: Did you see that guy trip over his pant leg just now?

Person 2: Yeah, that was a total fail cake. Sucks to be him.

by rocksiegirl21 May 14, 2011

Fail Parade

when a series of things that could go wrong do, causing the day or week or lifetime to be a complete and utter failure.

1 - Shit man, what are the odds that many things would go wrong?
2 - yeah, classic Fail Parade.

by Electric Whizbanger 9001 June 11, 2018

Failed First

If a girl doesn't break her hymen in their first sexual experience, leaving the girl a virgin. While the male lost his.

This usually happens when the guy has a small dick, and break the hymen

Girl: I don't feel anything
Boy: It's so good

Boy: Wait, you didn't feel anything

Girl: yea, I think that means i failed first

by AbbuTheWuvly June 12, 2018