Splinter me timbers

A masturbation related injury

Guy 1: *walking along awkwardly*
Guy 2: Hey buddy, what happened to you?
Guy 1: I was watching Mudhole Nuns Gone Wild 76 and got too excited, next thing I knew, splinter me timbers!
Guy 2: Oh my lawdy...

by PrinceCharming6.9 May 11, 2015

splinter the rat

The leader of the TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES. He is worshipped as a god among men, which makes sense seeing as he is a giant rat. It is thought that he has possessed people in the past, most notably Shaq.

Person one : “SHAQ SHAQ SHAQ SHAQ”
Person two: “oh, they must just be possessed by splinter the rat”

by Cathman17 April 28, 2021

Arse splinters

Arse splinters. - when you do a fibrous nutty log and it rips on the way out.

I’m never eating pistachios again after the Arse splinters they gave me this morning.

by Jay.Bee December 21, 2023

Who's choking on the splinters

Employees that suck on the wood penis on the Boss ....aka buttsniffers, suckass

Damnit I tired of all the "Who's choking on the splinters" types around work.

by williedoitnow August 10, 2022

Splinter train

The act of rubbing one's anus back and forth across a plank of wood in order to receive pleasure and, inevitably, splinters.

I splinter trained last night. Very enjoyable.

by Cucumber101 July 9, 2017

Splinter sucker

Cocksucker, someone who enjoys sucking a dick,oral sex

Yehaa I am the best god damn splinter sucker in south Wales

by Djruffglove September 14, 2018

The Click Splinter

When your cock slips off your computer mouse and briefly rubs over the piece of balsa wood that you use as a mouse pad and in turn gives your penis tip a splinter

I can not describe how pleasant the click splinter was and how unpleasant my mom's mexican wedding planner can be and is

by CrippleDOGS January 6, 2011