mormon missionary

sweet, cute, respectable young gentlemen...who love their religion and devote their lives for 2 years riding around like little goofs wearing suits on bicycles and going to peoples houses everday spreading the mormon religion and 9/10 times getting rejected......but good luck tryna date one, they only wanna date mormon girls, and they only date girls they might wanna marry in the future...they dont really hook up... LITTLE CUTIES.

doorbell rings
a mom: its those mormons trying to preach their religion to us for the 10th time.... dont get it!!!
a daughter: looks through door peepholedaaaayuuumn that blonde mormon missionary is finnne!!!!!!!!!!!! come on in!!!!!!

mormon missionary by kristyn sutherland March 13, 2006

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The missionary trap

The act of attempting to smack/hit the light switch as to avoid eye contact while participation in the sexual position known as ‘missionary’, but since you are locked in a perpetual state of kissing and smacking, you are forced to awkwardly look away at other objects around the room while trying to maintain an erection.

Yeah dude, last night I was banging this hot chick, but then I had to bail since I got into the missionary trap, my dick went limp almost immediately!

The missionary trap by Pleaseendme January 20, 2019

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The lone missionary

A sad depressing way of masturbation, in which a male is generally crying from loneliness, and is acting like he is in the conventional missionary position but using his hand instead of having a female present.

Man 1: Hey I just saw Ben, he is looking pretty depressed.
Man 2: Yeah I know, I guess he finally realized he is going to die alone and does is the lone missionary.

The lone missionary by ljohn12N March 10, 2017

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