A sissy, pathetic and lame excuse for a vampire. What was once a well respected and feared, truly evil creature of nightmare has now been turned into a bleeding vagina symbol of puberty, vanity and Hot Topic. He is an incredibly two-demensional and skin deep character who's only thought process is "I love you, Bella, I love you, Bella, I love you, Bella, etc...". I will never forgive Stephenie Meyer for this attrocity. Bram Stoker must be turning in his grave.
Sorry to burst you wet dream bubble you emo, vampire-wanabes, but Edward has so many undateable qualities about him I thought I'd list a few.
1. He sparkles like glitter. Last time I checked straight men didn't do that.
2. He can't get a boner: Boners are caused when the spongy tissue (not a muscle) of the penis fills with warm, circulating blood. Edward's heart does not pump blood throughout his system as he is dead, and therefore it is not logical for him to get a boner. In lamen's terms, Edward has a permanent softy. At least now we know why he won't screw Bella despite the fact that she is whorishly throwing herself at him.
3. He is old. 107 years old I believe. Even though you have probably heard this argument before, you probably have not thought about the fact that being this old probably makes him a racist, a sexist, a communist and every other -ist that I can think of.
4. Finally, the guy is DEAD! What the hell is wrong with you? You necrophiliacs.
Sorry to burst you wet dream bubble you emo, vampire-wanabes, but Edward has so many undateable qualities about him I thought I'd list a few.
1. He sparkles like glitter. Last time I checked straight men didn't do that.
2. He can't get a boner: Boners are caused when the spongy tissue (not a muscle) of the penis fills with warm, circulating blood. Edward's heart does not pump blood throughout his system as he is dead, and therefore it is not logical for him to get a boner. In lamen's terms, Edward has a permanent softy. At least now we know why he won't screw Bella despite the fact that she is whorishly throwing herself at him.
3. He is old. 107 years old I believe. Even though you have probably heard this argument before, you probably have not thought about the fact that being this old probably makes him a racist, a sexist, a communist and every other -ist that I can think of.
4. Finally, the guy is DEAD! What the hell is wrong with you? You necrophiliacs.
Girl with down syndrome: OMG EDWARD CULLEN IS SOOO HAWT. I TOTALLY LOVE HIM AND I WANT TO MARRY HIM. HE IS GORGEOUS AND HAS NO FLAWS. YATTI YATTI YATTA, BLAH BLAH BLAH etc etc etc
Me: there goes another one of god's disappointments.
Me: there goes another one of god's disappointments.
by Bzzzzzzz January 29, 2011
THE hottest fictional character ever created by Stephenie Meyer.
He has mesys bronze hair, super-pale skin that sparkles in the sunlight, and is really tall. He's super strong, super fast, and above all, a vegetarian vampire!
He has mesys bronze hair, super-pale skin that sparkles in the sunlight, and is really tall. He's super strong, super fast, and above all, a vegetarian vampire!
by Fuji-chan June 10, 2008
That vampire that dazzles people. All the guys are jelous of him, and all the girls are obbsesed with him. He sets an extremly high expectation for girls looking for guys. Unfortunatly he is a fictional character from Stephanie Meyer's novels: Twilight Saga.
Girl #1: Hey doesnt Jeff look hot today!?
Girl #2: Not as hot as Edward Cullen!
Girl #1: WHO!?
Girl #2: You dont know Edward Cullen?
Girl #2: Not as hot as Edward Cullen!
Girl #1: WHO!?
Girl #2: You dont know Edward Cullen?
by Kirsty(: August 15, 2008
Fairy.
I mean, c'mon! He doesn't drink human blood, he can go out in daylight, and he SPARKLES. He is NOT a vampire. He is, however, a fairy.
I mean, c'mon! He doesn't drink human blood, he can go out in daylight, and he SPARKLES. He is NOT a vampire. He is, however, a fairy.
Twitard- Ahhh, Edward Cullen is the hottest vampire EVER!
Normal person- Dude, he isn't a vampire, he's a fairy.
Normal person- Dude, he isn't a vampire, he's a fairy.
by KazIDoBelieve May 03, 2010
1.A whiny 108 years old virgin who don't have a life, and had a habit of stalking people in their sleep
2.Character from Twilight
2.Character from Twilight
by *Lexxi* April 19, 2009
by mmmtttt April 28, 2010
A fairy, it is obvious, and he is lacking in all vampristic features. Find something that is very vampire about Edward...
Edward Cullen lives in the forest, is mythical, is super white, doesn't eat people, sparkles, was a virgin for 108 years, and creeps on younger people
by Chislett October 25, 2010