Testicular crit

A critical hit to the balls. Can happen as a result of being kicked, bumping into the edge of a counter just right, getting rhino'd but their knee hits your sack too, being towel whipped, etc. This can also arise from being hit in the crotch with a bag of nickels, a low flying pigeon, or a beanbag round fired from a shotgun. Can be a mini crit or full crit.

Person 1: "Jimmy told me he rode his BMX through a crowded subway platform and sacktapped 2 guys at once with the handlebars."l

Person 2: "Wow a double testicular crit!"

by Suckmytoes_77 April 28, 2023

self-inflicted testicular incident

A usually accidental self-inflicted injury to the groin area.

He suffered the worst self-inflicted testicular incident in his life.

by Mr. Robotron March 28, 2019

Unrestrained Hyper-Testicular Secretion Production Syndrome (UHSPS)

UHSPS is defined as a supernatural power and condition where a male produces an insurmountable quantity of precum. Most people will think it’s normal, however only those with UHSPS know that the amount in which they precum is anything but natural. Those with UHSPS usually experience the need for multiple underwear changes through the day and potentially public exposure as the amount will seep through multiple layers on underwear and pants. This phenomenon also begins at the initial thought of sex or arousal before the penis is fully erect, thus those with UHSPS can active their UHSPS with just the thought of their UHSPS. Those with UHSPS also are said to believe that lubrication is a foreign concept because they produce their own naturally. This makes those with UHSPS often sought out after by partners for their natural born gift of self-lubrication. Currently, there is no cure for UHSPS

Did you spill something your pants?

Oh no, that’s just my pre-cum I have Unrestrained Hyper-Testicular Secretion Production Syndrome (UHSPS).

When my ex was giving me a blowjob, he complained, “Sooooo leaky...” due to my UHSPS because he is a little bitch that doesn’t know what’s good for him.

by The Precum Power Rangers June 10, 2020

Testiculoria

From the Latin 'testiculum' meaning "of the testicles".

1. Irrational rage or extreme emotion that is uncontrollable especially in men, often with anti-feminist connotations.

2. Like hysteria, but without having anything to do with the uterus.

"Have you seen the testiculoria among conservative men over the Kavanaugh accusation?"

by DrSound September 19, 2018

testicular banter

When the local doctor checks your prostate and it’s the exact same as his, and you both laugh it off casually.

Doctor - “Yo lemme check your scrotal mass”

Patient - “For sure homie! It’s on the health insurance so don’t be afraid to do some heavy examination”

Doctor - “ayoo bro we got the same”

Patient - “no way bro, that’s crazy”

~ Laughing it off while while realizing there is no diagnosis as of yet.

That is testicular banter in its raw form.

by JackisOG October 15, 2021

Testicular Manslaughter

A severe, public emasculation by a significant other.

John's wife committed testicular manslaughter when she had him return tampons to the drug store.

by Reginald Beckwith December 14, 2010

testicular paralysis

The techical term for "numb nuts". Testicular paralysis is a medical condition common among politicians, owners of large companies, managers of auto shops, auto service technicians with large egos and little knowledge of the automobile, delivery drivers for uniform companies, taxi cab drivers, most liberals, some conservatives, labor union presidents, etc. etc. etc.

I think Bush is a pretty decent President, but his testicular paralysis seems to be affecting his judgement regarding the U.S. borders.

by Jackball April 29, 2005