Capt. Samaritan

He is the man who helps anyone in distress. His areas of "good Samaritan" expertise are rescuing kitty cats from fire escapes, fetching items off top shelves in grocery stores, digging young women's cars out of snow banks AND letting the bad drivers of the world know when they make an error on his road...(not on his watch, Sister!!!)

His uniform of choice are his throw-back, green&yellow track pants and a t-shirt depicting the Joker. (black puffy vest is optional)

When Captain Samaritan isn't out making the world a better place, he can be found in the gym rockin' and shockin' it, on his sofa watching hockey/home reno shows with a libation, OR cramming his face with all you can eat fishy! one day the world will erect a statue of this superb specimen of a man... in the meantime, he will continue to do good deeds and take it one day at a time!

Elderly woman- "help anyone!! that young hoodlum has stolen my purse!"

Capt. Samaritan- "I will help you little old lady!"

Young Student- "Geez, I wish Captain Samaritan was here to help me with my homework"

"Don't worry Billy, Captain Samaritan will conjugate those verbs for you!"

by gorgeousgeorge83 December 21, 2009

semail

Sexting, except over email. Commonly used by teenagers when their phones are broken. Also used by middle aged people who don't know how to use phones.

Boy: "hey gurl you wanna sext?"
Girl: "my phone brokee :("
Boy: "its cool we can semail instead"
Girl: "kk" *takes naked pictures and sends them*
Boy: *FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP*

by Agent Snyder May 20, 2011

Selmari

Selmari is a girl who works at a small personal business. Selmari is good at making coffee and using up internet bandwidth. Selmari's usually come from the Southern regions of towns.

Selmari, why don't you make coffee instead of using up all the bandwidth.

by 1nt3rw3b_n1nja November 29, 2012

Smearing

When you're smiling and tearing up at the same time.

Sabrina was so happy that we wished her a happy birthday. She was literally smearing.

by mootlik January 25, 2019

searing the jumbo shrimp

to jerk off

"When I returned to the tent, my friend Bob was searing the jumbo shrimp"

by Gus Bettella November 19, 2003

Fudge Smearing

Related to the endless wipe. The act of trying to clean one's ass after taking a crap and getting little or no results.

Dude, I took a dump and had an endless wipe. I ended up fudge smearing for a freaking half hour!

by gyrussfanx May 23, 2007

Good Samaritank

Someone who is eager to help, but whose help makes the problem worse.

Let's take care of this problem before Steve tries to help. He's a good Samaritank.

by Good Intentions January 12, 2008