Jared

To completely kill everyone in the room's buzz by being totally negative and against everyone else.

Wow, that Jared completely ruined the party.

No, I couldn't have fun last night, i was with a Jared

Bald Headed FUCK!

by buttsexman1234 February 4, 2010

Jared

To create something large in size for consumption. To upsize or upgrade something typically small or bite-size into something larger than usual.

Name derived from Subway's spokesman Jared Fogel.

"I'm totally going to jared this s'more", said Alan has he built a 4 marshmallow, 2 graham cracker, and 1 full chocolate bar s'more around the campfire.

You want to jared these Bagel Bites into a 4-story pizza tower?

by RobinAmerica July 7, 2009

Jared

The flap of skin that connects your balls to your penis. Not to be mistaken for a gooch, which is the skin between your balls and your asshole.

"Ahh, that feels so good, Don't forget the Jared Baby."

by The Jared December 26, 2008

Jared

(n.) A generally creepy stalker like person that emits a totally freakish vibe and makes you wanna run away. On knows when they are a jared when they have a creepy rapist voice, randomly show up behind people, or freak out unknowing teenage girls.

'Omg don't stand behind me like that, you jared.'

by Hair-product lover June 2, 2009

Jared

One who has more homosexuality then he knows what to do with; The king of flamers.

Fuck my ass and call me jared.

by jed kenney April 9, 2008

Jared

A person who has a fond liking to cats, sometimes extreme liking. Also to the point of having sex with cats.

ME: I heard a kid had sex with a cat! He is such a Jared.

by spankyanky ham April 24, 2008

Jared

An annoying asshole. He doesn't get laid and gets sucked off by men named Kohjiro. A person that says he is down to fuck his cousins and has a micro peen.

Jared is an ugly bastard, and he ate Kohjiros asshole when they had a sleepover in a cardboard box on the street.

by eufefuefueeunfeufneufneuf November 28, 2021