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Risk Assessment

A form designed by bureaucrats to waste the time of people with useful jobs
1: I need to do this work
2: Here's 4 risk assessment forms to fill out

...days later...

1. Ok I've done that
2. You filled out the wrong ones, here are the new ones

....later still....

1. Look, just tell me what to write!
2. Have you considered that blowing you nose and getting a nosebleed should be on here
1. What? I just want to weigh some stuff that is otherwise kept in the freezer
2. You're using a freezer! Here's another risk assessment to fill out
by pseuodnymphomaniac October 7, 2015
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bag of asses

when you're like 13, or so, and you are just one of those assholes that think you're the coolest tween ever, and you act like not just an asshole, but you're so much of an asshole, it's like an entire bag of asses, with lots of variety, not just one ass.
"Damn, you were an asshole when you were 13!"
"I was like a bag of asses, like a whole variety of asses, in a bag."
by GagaFreakBitch May 18, 2010
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civil asset forfeiture

a system by which American authorities can legally seize your property if they suspect that it was used to make or sell drugs, or bought with drug money.
They don't have to prove anything, or have a warrant. They only need probable cause, which can be given by a drug dog scam. You may or not be charged with a crime, and you might never get your stuff back.
Ethel Hylton: "Why are you taking my money?"

Cop: "Civil Asset Forfeiture, ma'am. (Google it.) The dog smells drugs on your cash, so we're taking it all."

Ethel Hylton: "But I've never even touched any drugs."

Cop: "No, but your money has."

Ethel Hylton: "I'm innocent! I've done nothing wrong"

Cop: Relax, nobody's accusing you of anything. We're just taking your money. Forever."

Ethel Hylton: "wha...?"
by pseudoanonymous July 4, 2009
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excuses are like asses

This phrase means that excuses are full of shit, like asses.
"Why don't you just tell the truth about what happened? Your excuses are like asses."
by kenni May 22, 2004
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[a sack a dead asses]

The act of which something smells like a mixture between
a graveyard with every grave open and five broken toilets used by dierrea victims.
His garbage can smelled like a sack a dead asses.
by k12 October 12, 2006
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Passenger assessment

The tendency, especially while waiting for a plane, to scan one's fellow passengers for signs of violent intention. This tends to increase after an airline incident or near incident.
Jake surreptitiously looked up and down the many aisles of chairs as he waited for his plane to arrive at the gate. Passenger assessment is an essential part of flying these days. he rationalized.
by Cirdellin December 31, 2009
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asset

when your ass is your best attribute, this could also happen by default if your chest is as flat as a wall
erika is very flat but has a large asset so its all good.
by tman March 30, 2005
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