Pre-new year ejaculate

When people start saying "see you next year" the last week of December right up until the 31st at 11:59.

On Dec. 26th, Sam said to Dave, See you next year.
Dave replied to Sam, "Did you just Pre-new year ejaculate me?"

by Filamena C January 7, 2010

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Pre-Emptive Deep-Sea Diving

Pre-Emptive Deep-Sea Diving is when, after taking an enormous shit, you pre-emptively stick your hand down in the toilet water and break up the gigantic turd BEFORE you flush, therefore avoiding an embarrasing overflow situation. Suffice to say, some prepartion is necessary. (If the situation around Uranus requires you to wipe immediately, just "stage" the used toilet paper (TP) on the edge of the bowl and flush them AFTER the crisis has resolved itself. Otherwise, wipe later. 1) Wad up a bunch of TP ahead of time, to be used to clean off your shit-stained finger tips after you've done the deed. 2) Pull your pants half-way up, just in case there is a flood. 3) DIVE!, DIVE!, DIVE! Stick that hand right down in there and start breaking that turd up. Don't be afraid to overdo it. 4) DON'T WIPE YOUR FINGERS OFF YET! Use your clean hand to flush, then quickly cross your fingers for good luck. 5) If all goes well, you've successfully dropped the Cosby Kids off at the pool. Congratulations! If it didn't work, skip Step 6 and proceed immediately to Step 7. 6) Use your pre-saved wad of TP to clean your fingers off, then drop the used TP in the bowl. Proceed to wipe your butt (or if you've pre-wiped, tap in the used TP) and drop the TP in the (now) nearly empty bowl. Whew! 7) If the poop break up did not work (or you were too pussy to do it!), quickly hobble out of the stall to the next stall and finish your paperwork there. Act innocent.

Ollie: Well, Stan, that was a delightful and quite filling meal. Now, if you'll just excuse me for a moment.

Stan: Don't forget about Pre-Emptive Deep-Sea Diving! (smiles sheepishly and scratches top of head).

Ollie: Indeed.

by The Sage Advice Man August 12, 2012

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Pre-Blitz

The zeppelin air raids and urban bombings of Britain during World War I. The name comes from the idea of it being a precursor to the Blitz in World War I, which also was a bombing of Britain.

Person one: my great grandfather served as a German pilot during World War I

Person two: did he take part in the pre-blitz?
Person one: no, he was a fighter pilot.

by PonianYoutube March 17, 2021

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Pre-TSD

Negative thoughts and/or feelings that occur prior to a negative experience.

"I get Pre-TSD when I find out my brother-in-law is coming over"

by GooseNugget01 December 20, 2020

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Pre-crastinate

The act of placing yourself or others (usually those who work for you) in crisis mode now for something far in the future that may or may no ever happen. The same amount of energy is expended and stress is created in a compressed timeframe as if you had waited until the last minute only it is done now when it is uncertain if the event will actually occur.

Why does the boss always pre-crastinate? We end up doing cheetah flips and running around like our pants are on fire for something 6 months away "just in case." Then they cancel the thing.

by Jammed up October 26, 2013

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