Blonard

(blow-nard); someone who acts like they are mentally challenged, or does stupid things.

"Good job pulling out in front of me when there were no cars behind me you damn BLONARD!!!!"

by izaya's mumma February 12, 2010

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blonde moment

severe case of missing the bleeding obvious

No, I'm not having a 'blonde moment'!! You can't fit that many cocks in my arse!!... oh wait... your right, you soooo can!

by sphincter basha June 29, 2011

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A attractive girl who can never get a date because she has a reputation for accidentally putting her dates in the hosiptal or the morgue. This type of girl has an uncanny way of always physically harming her dates on accident to the point they may need to visit the hospital. May also be known as an brunette widow or any hair color and the word widow at the end.

WARNING! when encoutering this type of girl she may be easy to approach and will be totally out of your league but she will agree to go out with you anyway. This is a ploy to lure you in while your on a date with her and get you off your guard because she may do one or any combination of the following by accident:

1. Accidentally stab you while tryng to cut an apple.

2. set you in fire while trying to light the grill.

3.Shoot you with a gun while somehow aiming in the exact opposite direction of where you are.

4. Run you over while trying to park the car.

5. drown you while you try to teach her how to swim.

6. Take extreme caution when walking down steps with her she will always trip and you will ALWAYS fall down with her and somehow YOU will fall flat on your face and SHE will somehow be fine.

If you do continue to date this girl do not let her handle the following; knives, guns, bows, pens, boiling water, fire in whatever form, rocks, sand, turtles, pipes, icepacks, ketchup bottles, your tie, the car, NEVER let her play darts, footballs, and your penis

Mike: yo dude me and claire are going out but she wantsa double date and needs someone for her friend annie wanna come?

Danny: Hell no! Annie sent her last 8 boyfriends to the hospital shes a blonde widow.

Noah: Hey man I came soon as I heard you were in the hospital what happend?

Roy: Went on a date with a blonde widow.

by stilldatingblondewidow5yrstrg October 1, 2011

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baloney colonic

An allusion to anal sex, "baloney" referring to the penetrator's penis and "colonic" referring to the anal penetration itself. Commonly used by men who equate their genitalia with charcuterie and/or processed meat products.

Frat boy 1: "Yo, what was up with that chick you banged last night? She was all vegan and shit!"

Frat boy 2: "Her ass ain't vegan after the baloney colonic I gave her ..."

by Admiral Viggo April 27, 2014

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blond fused

Blond fused describes the confusion of a blond, natural or otherwise .

Sorry I missed your party, I was blond fused about the date.

by Irish eyes May 22, 2014

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Blonde Luke

Luke is a charming boy at first but as it goes he turns into one of those liars you cant trust.

He thinks he's the best and that he's popular well he isn't. Ge can become your friend once then randomly treat you like shit. He also likes to use his mum to gain sympathy from the girls

Blonde Luke :Hey my mum could die in a few weeks.
Amy:aaaw i feel sorry for you.

1week
Blonde Luke: I love amy
2weeks
Blonde Luke: I love emilia
3weeks
Blonde Luke: I love grace
and so on...

by sheahoee July 2, 2014

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