It will be studied for a long time how the Ronald McDonald Presidents were allowed to bamboozle the American population, orchestrate their elections, and ruin the country. From the Supreme Court handing the unelected son of a former president the keys, to using mail in ballots during a pandemic, to splitting the ticket with a joke third party candidate, to using wounded veterans as decoys, and using the son of a previous presidential candidate who lost, everything has been exposed already. Now it's up to the People to care enough to see it.
by Publius0987 January 28, 2026
Get the Ronald McDonald Presidents mug.RONALD WEASLEY, HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED! YOUR FATHER IS NOW FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, AND IT IS ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE, WE’LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME! Oh, and Ginny dear, congratulations on making Gryffindor, your father and I are so proud.
by Charlie:3 February 9, 2026
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Get the Ronan Brett mug.Meet Ronald — a self-proclaimed “investment guru” in his late 20s to early 30s, who somehow manages to project the confidence of Warren Buffett while possessing the financial acumen of a Magic 8-Ball. Ronald’s entire portfolio is held together with vibes, memes, and whatever happens to be trending on r/WallStreetBets that week. If it’s got a rocket emoji next to it, Ronald’s all in.
He has no formal education in finance — unless you count the YouTube rabbit hole he fell into after watching The Big Short once and deciding he “gets it now.” His primary investing strategy? Simply disagreeing with whatever Jim Cramer says. If Cramer says buy, Ronald screams sell, and vice versa. He calls this “inverse Kramer logic,” and believes it’s Nobel-worthy.
Ronald often refers to himself as “diversified,” which in his case means he owns shares in a bankrupt movie theater chain, a crypto coin named after a dog, and a startup that claims to be the Uber for pigeons. He dishes out unsolicited financial advice like candy at Halloween, especially during parties, weddings, and funerals.
Despite his track record of turning every $100 investment into a $14 lesson in humility, he insists he’s “just one short squeeze away from early retirement.” You can often find him on his phone yelling things like “I told you AMC would moon again!” while desperately trying to remember his Robinhood password.
Ronald isn’t just playing the market — he’s playing himself, and somehow, still thinks he’s winning.
He has no formal education in finance — unless you count the YouTube rabbit hole he fell into after watching The Big Short once and deciding he “gets it now.” His primary investing strategy? Simply disagreeing with whatever Jim Cramer says. If Cramer says buy, Ronald screams sell, and vice versa. He calls this “inverse Kramer logic,” and believes it’s Nobel-worthy.
Ronald often refers to himself as “diversified,” which in his case means he owns shares in a bankrupt movie theater chain, a crypto coin named after a dog, and a startup that claims to be the Uber for pigeons. He dishes out unsolicited financial advice like candy at Halloween, especially during parties, weddings, and funerals.
Despite his track record of turning every $100 investment into a $14 lesson in humility, he insists he’s “just one short squeeze away from early retirement.” You can often find him on his phone yelling things like “I told you AMC would moon again!” while desperately trying to remember his Robinhood password.
Ronald isn’t just playing the market — he’s playing himself, and somehow, still thinks he’s winning.
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