feet to jesus

having sex with a woman, a sexual referance.

Fucking a woman while her feet are point towards the sky

Corey:did u have sex with your girl yet
ME:hell yeah i put her feet to jesus

by themjc96 January 4, 2012

Sleeping With Jesus

Passing out drunk in a tub of water leaving potential for drowning and meeting Jesus

I was so drunk last night that I was sleeping with Jesus

by Christian88888 October 13, 2012

Pulling a Jesus

When someone on chat says "BRB" and doesn't return for days.

Buddy: Hey bro, brb.
Friend: Aight, I'll be waiting
*3 days pass*
Buddy: Oh hey dude, i'm back, wassup?
Friend: DUDE, IT'S ALREADY THURSDAY, NICE JOB PULLING A JESUS!

by userbrn May 19, 2011

Jesus Roll

When a song, movie, or attractive person you meet at a bar all of the sudden goes all Churchy when you aren't expecting it. Like a Rick Roll, but the surprise is Jesus.

I was totally hitting it off with this girl, then she had to leave early to go to church. Jesus Rolled!

by Munche May 1, 2009

Jesus Crust

He is the son of Crust God. He was crucified for our memes and came back on the 3rd day to teach his diciples to spread the teachings Crust. Never touch his sock because if you do he will anally rape with a stick while screeching “REEEEEEEEEEE!”

I pray to thee, our lord Jesus Crust.

by Jesus Crust May 23, 2018

Jesus Troll

A person who sobers the mood of a post by tying the subject back to Jesus/God/Christianity. Can be completed with biblical quotes or an overall feeling of Christian guilt.

Steve: Check it out, I planked the water fountain!
Terry: That shit is so fucking stupid, man
John: We should all thank Him for having the full mobility of our bodies to be able to do such things. Some people don't have that luxury.
Steve: John, you're such a Jesus Troll.

by Jonnie Brasco July 11, 2011

Fire Jesus

Fire Jesus is essentially real Jesus with two major differences; the ability to shoot flames, and the psychotic tendency to burn Pagans. He will spend vast amounts of time simply hunting down and burning Pagans with flames that spurt from his palms.

Pagan: Man, I sure am ready for a long day of bettering my society as a whole followed by some naturalistic tree worship!

Fire Jesus: My ass you are! *shoots flames which instantly incinerate said Pagan"

by Chocolate Pudding Man September 16, 2011