by Chris C. September 16, 2018
Get the Lock Assmug. A common rent-seeking practice where vendors design structures and contracts to give them control of customer data and code.
The steps involved in vendor lock-in are:
1) Identify lower-IQ management to engage with
2) Insert clauses into contracts where vendor retains customer data and limit customer access
3) Insert clauses into contracts where code development commissioned by the customer is proprietary to the vendor
4) Say whatever is necessary to ensure customer is at ease with the clauses, but ensure no such record
5) Sell customer's own data back to them, piecemeal
6) Resell the output of the code each time it is run
7) Collect economic profits
The steps involved in vendor lock-in are:
1) Identify lower-IQ management to engage with
2) Insert clauses into contracts where vendor retains customer data and limit customer access
3) Insert clauses into contracts where code development commissioned by the customer is proprietary to the vendor
4) Say whatever is necessary to ensure customer is at ease with the clauses, but ensure no such record
5) Sell customer's own data back to them, piecemeal
6) Resell the output of the code each time it is run
7) Collect economic profits
Vendor Staff: "The regulators of First Common Bank found evidence of overcharging . First Common needs us to pull account numbers on which customers got hit. I wrote up the query and pulled the data while I was on the phone."
Vendor Mgnt: "That's great. Let's write up a Statement of Work detailing requirements. Put in a long time frame for delivery, like a month or two. We'll price at your annual salary so it looks like we did some math. What is it again, like $127,400?"
Vendor Staff: "We can't charge that."
Vendor Mgnt: "Yes we can. Where else are they getting the data? They don't have it. I personally negotiated the vendor lock-in."
Vendor Staff: "We charged them $127,400 last time."
Vendor Mgnt: "That's great. Let's write up a Statement of Work detailing requirements. Put in a long time frame for delivery, like a month or two. We'll price at your annual salary so it looks like we did some math. What is it again, like $127,400?"
Vendor Staff: "We can't charge that."
Vendor Mgnt: "Yes we can. Where else are they getting the data? They don't have it. I personally negotiated the vendor lock-in."
Vendor Staff: "We charged them $127,400 last time."
by human-natured December 12, 2019
Get the vendor lock-inmug. Doc Lock refers to locking lips with an Army medic. This action can cure 99.9 percent of common ailments including pain and space aids
by Doc Doc Doc August 12, 2017
Get the Doc Lockmug. by Screemz March 27, 2024
Get the Locking offmug. The non-violent protest of the cyber world. It is typically used by someone trying to make a point or threaten another.
Cyber dude: "Yo bro, I'm fricking tired of your attitude."
Cyber bro: "I don't give a frick"
Cyber dude (caps locking): "I DON'T GIVE A FRICK IF YOU DON'T GIVE A FRICK! I'M GONNA COME BEAT YOU UP IF YOU DON'T STOP!"
Cyber bro: "I don't give a frick"
Cyber dude (caps locking): "I DON'T GIVE A FRICK IF YOU DON'T GIVE A FRICK! I'M GONNA COME BEAT YOU UP IF YOU DON'T STOP!"
by MischievousBee November 1, 2018
Get the Caps lockingmug. by toop223 October 20, 2023
Get the varsity lockmug.