The Smiling Uardo (noun): Thomas x Samkie
A creepy little chicken-wing-obsessed fuckstick who sits alone like a greasy goblin in the cafeteria, grinning like he just nutted in someone’s milk. This bony four-eyed bitch reeks of Walmart buffalo sauce and social anxiety. Doesn’t talk. Doesn’t blink. Just stares, chews, and looks like he’s plotting to fuck your entire existence sideways. You sit near him, you’re cursed. Period. Dirty fingers. Empty soul. Fuckin’ menace.
A creepy little chicken-wing-obsessed fuckstick who sits alone like a greasy goblin in the cafeteria, grinning like he just nutted in someone’s milk. This bony four-eyed bitch reeks of Walmart buffalo sauce and social anxiety. Doesn’t talk. Doesn’t blink. Just stares, chews, and looks like he’s plotting to fuck your entire existence sideways. You sit near him, you’re cursed. Period. Dirty fingers. Empty soul. Fuckin’ menace.
“Yo Zack, Thomas, and Samkie — The Smiling Uardo was sittin’ there, fingers covered in sticky-ass chicken grease and some nasty-ass cum-looking shit. That disgusting fucker’s like a goddamn walking swamp of wing sauce and nasty goo. Just being near The Smiling Uardo makes me wanna puke my guts out.”
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