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You've gone and done fucked it

Definition: (phrase)
A brutal way of saying someone hasn’t just made a mistake; they’ve taken a situation, set it on fire, thrown it off a cliff, and then acted surprised when it exploded. Used when the failure is so obvious, reckless, or dumb that no fixing it is even worth trying.

Not casual. This is reserved for moments when someone’s failure is so massive and self-inflicted that it almost becomes art. It's got that slow-burn of disappointment baked into it. First you sigh, then you say it. Related to "you done fucked up," but "gone and done" adds that extra salt; like you watched them build their own disaster in slow motion.
Example:

"Gave Chad the aux cord and now we're listening to 12 minutes of dolphin noises. You've gone and done fucked it up."

"She hit 'reply all' with that email dragging the boss. You've gone and done fucked it."
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gloved-up goo-gone handjob

When the gloves need to come _on_, and things get dirty, it's no time for half measures. Best to bring out the big guns right off, get them thick 7mil gloves on, an anointal squirt of goo-gone in nitrile-gloved hand, we then begin the "cleaning" process, vigorously stroking back and forth over the length, agitating with pumice grit for added friction, a passionate fervor, and potent concoction of solvents, we grip firmly and to ensure the _entire_ length is coated, covered, and cared for properly. ;)

Always best to go full-bore, no half-assin! Now get them gloves on...
God, look at the gunk on that motherfucker, that poor thing needs some TLC and a good gloved-up goo-gone handjob, and maybe a miracle...
Related Words

gloved-up goo-gone handjob

When the gloves need to come _on_, and things get dirty, it's no time for half measures. Best to bring out the big guns right off, get them thick 7mil gloves on, an anointal squirt of goo-gone in nitrile-gloved hand, we then begin the "cleaning" process, vigorously stroking back and forth over the length, agitating with pumice grit for added friction, a passionate fervor, and potent concoction of solvents, we grip firmly and to ensure the _entire_ length is coated, covered, and cared for properly. ;)

Always best to go full-bore, no half-assin! Now get them gloves on...
God, look at the gunk on that motherfucker, that poor thing needs some TLC and a good gloved-up goo-gone handjob, and maybe a miracle...

Canadian Jacob Gone

When you and your Canadian boys are out at the bars on a Friday night and an American named Jacob walks in the door. Jacob started his night drinking with his friends in Murica’ but somehow gets separated and ends up in Canada with no recollection of how he achieved this feat as Jacob is piss drunk. Jacob instantly becomes a crowd favorite at the bar and part of your inner circle. As the night goes on it turns into a weekend filled drinking fest where Jacob ends up pulling off the Canadian Adele, Canadian Mud Puddle, Canadian Cannon Ball, as well as the Canadian Bottle Opener. As Sunday night rolls around you know that you have to set Jacob free. But you know if you set him free that one day and time he will return. You put your best Sasquatch mask on Jacob, cover him in maple syrup (more on why to follow) and your old hockey gloves. You and your crew bring Jacob to a hockey game where you put the bug in his ear about stealing the Zamboni. As Jacob jumps the boards butt ass naked still covered in maple syrup and wear the hockey gloves. As security tries to tackle and subdue Jacob he slips right out of their grasp on account of the maple syrup. Jacob achieves the theft of one of Canadas national treasures. As Jacob is driving the Zamboni across the Rainbow Bridge, police cars lights and sirens on following close behind, he has one hand with a Duce Duce of Canadian Lager the other is waving his fondest farewells to you. Knowing one day Jacob will be back but for now Jacob Gone.
Jacob where you go Jacob, oh Canadian Jacob Gone.

To boldly Go where no man has gone before 

A description of sex with a lesbian.
I shall now beam down,

To boldly Go where no man has gone before

ching chong your existence is gone 

A meme were a Vietnamese tree soldier hunts Americans in Vietnam down and turns them into flesh pancakes.
American: a good day to take down some Vietnamese soldiers
Vietnamese tree soldier: ching chong your existence is gone
American: fuck this shit I'm out
Vietnamese tree soldier: *turns American into flesh pancake*
Vietnamese tree soldier: looks like my work here is done