Copper Goblin

Meth heads, tweakers and junkies have a penchant for precious metals and other bartering goods, copper, in particular. They can be seen rummaging through dumpsters around industrial complexes but are most commonly spotted under the hood of a Kia in a nightclub parking lot. Typical markings include: someone else’s discarded cigarette butt hanging, stuck to their bottom lip; shorts so dirty you wonder how they could possibly get that way; a ripped football T-shirt from a Super Bowl in the 90’s; and sometimes during breeding season, a white plastic ‘thank you’ bag tied in a knot filled with various unknown goods. Juveniles have a full set of teeth; adults have few to no teeth. One particularly unique trait of this goblin is a distinct musk gland that emits an odor akin to lukewarm scrotum and industrial paint thinner. If one sees a questionable act they must shout in an authoritative voice from a distance or shine bright light upon the subject in question. If the subject proceeds to scatter towards a nearby chain link fence holding their arms to their chest with a full ripped t shirt of scrap metal like a frightened squirrel- one has positively identified a Copper Goblin.

I drove by the cemetery on my way home and observed a breeding pair of copper goblins eying the iron entry gates.

We stopped at Home Depot the other day, when we walked by the dumpster we could hear the rummaging of an entire herd of copper goblins!

Did you know that copper goblins, when molting from larva to adult, can lose up to one tooth per week while consuming more than half their body weight in raw amphetamines?

by Fishingwithdabrigs June 25, 2023

Bed Goblin

Somebody who lives in an darkened bedroom with a laptop screen as their only source of light, becoming gradually more pasty and antisocial. They spend all their time watching YouTube and playing games and only leave their lair to eat, drink, shit or piss. If you try to take their laptop away, they go all Gollum on your ass.

I hardly see Oscar anymore - has turned into a total bed goblin.

by Dr. Volospian January 20, 2023

door goblins

People who stand in small public spaces such as hallways or doors, and block the way of other people, often while talking to friends or on their phone. Especially prevalent in schools where students walk to different classes on the campus.

Student 1: Everybody was stopped for a minute when I arrived at the classroom. What happened?
Student 2: Ah it was just another of those door goblins fucking everything up.

by CapitalistDwarf July 12, 2020

Awp-goblin

A player in CSGO who is legit god himself when it comes to the awp. Legends speak tales of his work when an awp is bestowed in his hands. When he has an awp, its a guaranteed win.

player 1: Did you see Airmass01 on mid?
player 2: Yeah dude, he's an awp-goblin!

by @notAirmass01 August 25, 2023

Semen Goblin

1. A child

a. A product of semen

b. Semen created it

c. A new human
2. An excited aroused… person?

a. A person who is really excited to partake in semen consumption

b. A person who acts like a goblin in the presence of semen

c. Semen enthusiast

She acted like a semen goblin as soon as we were alone

by Abner Anly April 15, 2023

Closet Goblin

A homosexual or queer person (oftentimes in denial) who happens to be homophobic.

My friend's brother just called me the f-slur. I don't know why he's so homophobic, he literally has a boyfriend. God, he's such a fucking closet goblin!

by anonymous September 26, 2020

Croch Goblin

A subject of which a human has pushed from their nether regions.

I hate croch goblins... they just ruin everything.
That's her croch goblin.
My parents want me to have croch goblins. I will cry.

by Local whore October 15, 2022